Richard Merbler In
Search Of Entrepreneur Heroes Interview
Ralph Zuranski:
What is your definition of heroism?
Richard Merbler:
My definition of heroism is someone who is able to
give of themselves in a very selfless manner.
Richard Merbler:
So in that respect it covers a lot of territory.
Often times I think that when we think of a hero it
is someone who has given their life to save others
but in reality I think it is people in everyday life
that are able to just give themselves without
expecting anything in return and just trying to help
others simply because they realize that people need
help and they have the ability to do it and they
make an effort to do so.
Ralph Zuranski:
Did you ever create a secret hero in your mind that
helped you deal with life’s difficulties?
Richard Merbler:
Not really. I just think I had enough real heroes
in my life just in my own family like my folks who
just seem to give a lot.
Richard Merbler:
So I think between immediate family and extended
family with relatives I just saw a lot of people
doing things for others and it was just sort of
ingrained that that is what you do when you have the
gifts and talents to help others and you have the
time and the ability to do so, do it.
Ralph Zuranski:
What is your perspective on goodness, ethics and
moral behavior?
Richard Merbler:
That is really what seems to make our life
worthwhile. Without any type of moral behavior our
lives seem to be kind of chaotic.
Richard Merbler:
There seems to be a lack of focus and people not
only seem to wander but maybe they begin to get
involved in a lot of other things that are fairly
negative because there seems to be more self
involvement or you begin to do things simply because
you want to do it, because you want to indulge
yourself on any sort of whim that seems to surface.
Richard Merbler:
When I was a kid doing simple things like taking
out the trash, well when your folks are working hard
and they are tired at the end of the day I think
anything that I could do to help them, even though
that was probably not my intention at the time, it
was something I could do.
Richard Merbler:
As an eight year old kid there was not a lot I could
do but that was something that I could do.
Richard Merbler:
Things like scrubbing the floor for my mother whose
knees hurt and it was easy for me to get on my knees
when I was sixteen or eighteen years old to scrub
and wax the kitchen floor, to me it was not a large
accomplishment or anything that was really important
but for her it was a huge gift because this was
something that she really wanted to get done and if
she had done it herself she would have been out of
commission for a couple of days.
Richard Merbler:
So often times it is the little bitty things that to
you are not real significant but to others it may
make a big difference in their life or in someone
else’s home.
Ralph Zuranski:
When was the lowest point in your life and how did
you change your life path to one of victory over all
obstacles?
Richard Merbler:
Probably the lowest point in my life was when our
baby died. It was about nine years ago, she had
down syndrome and a lot of health problems and at
ten months she had to have open heart surgery and
died a week later.
Richard Merbler:
The amount of grief and sorrow we experienced was
tremendous, almost over-whelming. It just kind of
took our breath away and took all of our energy
away.
Richard Merbler:
It was all you could do just to get out of the bed
in the morning. I remember, that was in September
that she died and probably seven or eight months
later, it was during the summer time, my wife and
daughter were involved in a church musical so they
were going to a lot of rehearsals and I would come
home from work and everybody would be gone.
Richard Merbler:
They did that for about six weeks and by the end of
that period, I had come home to an empty house for
so long and one night I had come home and I was just
extremely depressed and the idea of suicide entered
my mind.
Richard Merbler:
I was lucky enough not to give in to that desire and
just went about my business as usual and ended up
going to the musical that my wife and daughter were
in, I met my parents there and my spirits went
through a complete reversal.
Richard Merbler:
I went from being over-whelmed with grief to feeling
a sense of joy and lightness as if I were able to
let my troubles be over taken by the people in my
life and I realized that no matter how much grief I
had, I think probably turning my focus away from my
own problems and seeing what was around me and maybe
also because this performance was in our church that
there was just a sense of the Holy Spirit there that
lifted me up. Like I said I went from being really
down to just a sense of joy and lightness in my
heart. So that was a beautiful experience.
Ralph Zuranski:
Do you have a dream or vision that sets the course
of your life?
Richard Merbler:
I think it is essential. That is really one of the
essence that you really need to focus on and begin
to develop a dream and a vision, otherwise you tend
to keep doing the same things everyday and there is
no sense of advancement, not to have any goals
causes one to just sort of wander through the day.
Richard Merbler:
No matter how much money you are making if you don’t
have a sense of what is really important to you, you
know so many people will get caught up in things
that will give them pleasure and not that that is a
bad thing but if that is all you are doing ----
just continually feeding your desires, I have
certainly met people who have told me that after
they have made millions of dollars and they reached
a point where they didn’t have to work , that after
a year or two that got kind of boring and it leaves
them feeling kind of empty.
Ralph Zuranski:
Do you take a positive view of setbacks, misfortunes
and mistakes?
Richard Merbler:
Yes but that is easy to say and sometimes hard to
do, especially when you get stuck in certain
routines of just doing the same thing over and over
again.
Richard Merbler:
You could do something for several years realizing
at the end of that period things will change but it
is hard enough especially for kids to work on a goal
that they have to work with for even a few days but
to realize that you have got to make some sacrifices
right now and possibly in a few years or even a
decade things will change. It is not easy to keep a
positive attitude.
Richard Merbler:
That is probably why it is important to keep a
positive attitude in some kind of church life or
some kind of positive life, otherwise you are just
surrounded with a lot of things in your life that
doesn’t tend to lift you up very much, that doesn’t
give a lot of positive feed back.
Ralph Zuranski:
Do you have the courage to pursue new ideas?
Richard Merbler:
Yes I do but it is scary because it is going to
create a change and change is not always the sort of
thing that creates comfort in our lives. I think we
learn best when we aren’t so sure of ourselves.
Richard Merbler:
When people come for a Rolfing session and there is
no one clear thing to start with, I have learned to
be ok with being uncertain and try to listen to
their body and tissue and let that be my guide.
Ralph Zuranski:
Were you willing to experience discomfort in the
pursuit of your dream?
Richard Merbler:
Well for me everything that I went through to be a
Rolfer was exciting and to realize that change was
happening, for me it gave me more energy.
Richard Merbler
I am sure there are more aspects of Rolfing with
which I’m lacking in skill and understanding and
might even deny that I have a problem. I think the
challenge that I am facing and maybe some others as
well is recognizing areas where we are weak in our
lives and what areas need more attention.
Richard Merbler:
Typically people will tend to work on things that
they are good at and ignore the areas that are weak.
Part of the challenge is to be ok with not being
perfect and admit that to yourself and others .This
approach can create a sense of freedom in your life.
People learn by making mistakes so maybe we can
enjoy the journey and realize that every failure
brings us closer to the truth.
Richard Merbler:
It is the same thing I learned when I was studying
guitar, you pick a guitar up and you try to play a
song and you realize that you are really bad. You
want to be a great guitarist but first you have to
play a lot of wrong notes before you get it right.
Everyone knows this but no one wants to live this
fact. And the older you get the more you expect to
be great right out of the gate. It’s our ego. No one
wants to be a beginner and play wrong notes.
Ralph Zuranski:
Did you believe your dreams would eventually become
reality?
Richard Merbler:
I’m an optimist and sometimes expect reality to make
an exception for me.
Richard Merbler:
Every time I really focused on something that was
important to me no matter how unobtainable it seemed
to be, it would often become reality. It’s a matter
of intention and focus. And luck!
Richard Merbler:
One example of that was in the process of becoming a
rolfer as I went through the selection process,
admission process; I had to write a series of essay
questions about topics that I didn’t understand.
These were topics that a Rolfer would be able to
discuss but since I wasn’t a Rolfer why was I
expected to be able to write on these subjects.
Richard Merbler:
It was a series of questions which I looked at for
a long time and every time I looked at it I just
became more and more frustrated and finally I
decided that I would just make a copy of this list
of topics and tape it to the dashboard of my car and
to the mirror in my bathroom and at work.
Richard Merbler:
And I would just look at it and if I didn’t know
what it meant that was ok but I would just let it be
there and I did that for a couple of years and
finally one day I looked at it and it made sense to
me.
Richard Merbler:
I finally understood what they were trying to get me
to do. I could have gone the short route and asked
them to send me examples of what other people had
written on these topics but I am stubborn and just
wanted to figure it out on my own. That sort of
thing has happened many times and every time I
really get focused on trying to accomplish something
it has come about.
Ralph Zuranski:
How were you able to overcome your doubts and fears?
Richard Merbler:
The doubts and the fears are something that I don’t
know if I have ever overcome to the fact that they
are nonexistent but I think I am ok with having
doubts and fears.
Richard Merbler:
Doubting in a sense keeps me a little more humble in
realizing no matter how much I think I might know
about something, I may not really understand it at
all.
Richard Merbler:
As a classical guitarist the awareness of fear was
certainly apparent when I would walk out on stage to
perform.
Richard Merbler:
There is a great deal of anxiety and fear. You are
aware that you could screw up in front of everybody
and look like a fool. But after a while you learn
use that fear to give your performance a lot more
energy. And after you have done it a few times, you
begin to be more comfortable with the fact that you
are walking a tight rope and there is a chance that
you will fall.
Richard Merbler:
Life is not safe. But when you face the challenge
and you make it to the other side it is very
exhilarating, whether it is walking out on a concert
stage or coming down rapids or skiing down a
mountain or involved in any type of activity where
you are taking a risk. Sometimes it doesn’t always
come out good but when you keep doing that I think
you almost become comfortable with the fear.
Richard Merbler:
Like in sports, if you are afraid of being hurt by
somebody who is really big and you are carrying the
ball perhaps that will get you to run faster. So I
think fear can be a very mobilizing factor.
Richard Merbler:
Fear is not a bad thing; we just have to realize
that we are afraid. I know in the past people would
talk to me about fear and I would say “I am not
afraid of anything.”
Richard Merbler:
And you know I think that is typically the awareness
that many people have the response that we are not
afraid of anything. Once you begin to realize what
you are afraid of or what kinds of things create
fear in your life, then that is a huge step because
then the next thing to do is try to do something to
counteract that and you understand your fear.
Richard Merbler:
I think that is half the battle, understanding what
sort of things trigger fear inside of us. Mostly we
are afraid of the unknown.
Ralph Zuranski:
Do you readily forgive those who upset, offend and
oppose you?
Richard Merbler:
Everyday when I say a prayer the first thing that I
pray for is unconditional forgiveness and sometimes
I really dwell on that when there is something going
on that really bothers me and I begin to realize the
huge magnitude of that statement.
Richard Merbler:
It is not an easy thing and usually I’m not
successful but at least I plant the seed of
forgiveness in my heart or mind. I think when there
is a sense of anger within us about something that
has been done to us or some situation that we are
upset about, it doesn’t do any good to carry that
anger. It is probably part of the reason why some
people get sick, because it just begins to eat on us
like a cancer.
Richard Merbler:
It was one of the things that Christ was always
preaching on, the ability to forgive others and was
something that he certainly showed by example. It
is not easy and sometimes it is not going to come
around very fast. It may take a couple of years to
begin to be able to forgive a particular action but
at least it is something to be aware of.
Ralph Zuranski:
Do you experience service to others as a source of
joy?
Richard Merbler:
Yes, I really do. Certainly the last five or six
years while teaching Sunday school class and working
with junior high and high school students.
Richard Merbler:
There were times when I thought the class was
extremely disruptive and how dare them talk and act
like a bunch of crazy kids while I am trying to
teach a class. Still there was somebody that would
get it and that would always keep me going. Just
the ability to have the opportunity to do something
like that is really an honor.
Ralph Zuranski:
What place does the power of prayer have in your
life?
Richard Merbler:
It is something that I have to do everyday and it
helps me realize that I am not alone and my life, as
important as it might be to me, is insignificant in
the greater scope of things.
Richard Merbler:
It helps me to make this connection to God, to
something that is greater than me and in that sense
helps me deal with anything that is going on in my
life.
Ralph Zuranski:
Do you maintain your sense of humor in the face of
serious problems?
Richard Merbler:
I try to, I immediately think of a time when I was
in a car accident a few years ago and this is maybe
the third time that someone had run into me over a
period of six or seven years and every time I would
get into an accident I would realize that it would
interfere and maybe disrupt my work for the next
year.
Richard Merbler:
And I would have to deal with a certain amount of
pain and that would be a difficult thing to work
through and then my wife would try to lighten up the
situation and I realized I was grumpy. I didn’t want
to be grumpy but I was stuck there and had no desire
to be cheered up.
Richard Merbler:
There are times when you just have to let people be
in their nasty little miserable state and work
through that for a while and then after a week or
two try to pull them up and sometimes you can do
that faster than others.
Richard Merbler:
That is when timing is everything and to be able to
say the right thing at the right moment is really a
gift.
Ralph Zuranski:
Who are the HEROES in your life?
Richard Merbler:
Boy as I looked at that question and tried to list
them, it is an array of people that have came
through my path, from my parents and certain
relatives that I have greatly admired and saw them
struggle with difficulties in life or their health,
teachers that say just the right thing and create a
spark that even now thirty or forty years later I
will think about and it will kind of lift me up.
Richard Merbler:
Friends that I have made over the last many years
and people that I have seen struggle with many
difficult situations and just continue to keep
trying to work. I have been blessed because it is
hard to think of any part of life where I don’t have
a vast number of heroes, the list is endless.
Ralph Zuranski:
Who do you think are the HEROES today that are not
getting the recognition they deserve?
Richard Merbler:
Probably teachers, people working in hospitals,
volunteers, and people involved in church and
centers dealing with the poor, homeless and hungry.
Richard Merbler:
People basically doing the grunt work, soldiers on
the line in Iraq, lots of folks that are really
giving everything they can. They are not making a
lot of money, and they certainly are not famous and
no one is naming a tennis shoe after them. They do
it because they have got the ability and I guess
they feel in their heart that that is what needs to
be done.
Ralph Zuranski:
Why are HEROES so important in the lives of young
people?
Richard Merbler:
A hero or role model is someone who helps you shape
your life. A hero provides a good foundation to
build your own life. So even though we are greatly
influenced by movies and t v, we have a base line to
work from and pick and choose the qualities that we
want our life to reflect.
Ralph Zuranski:
How does it feel to be recognized as an Internet
HERO?
Richard Merbler:
It feels pretty good, it is exciting.
Ralph Zuranski:
Why do you think you were selected for this unique
honor?
Richard Merbler:
I guess because the work I do is very valuable and
unique and it requires an amount of hard work, it is
not an easy thing to do.
Ralph Zuranski:
How are you making the world a better place?
Richard Merbler:
The first thing I can do to make the world a better
place is to be the best person that I can be.
Richard Merbler:
It is my example if nothing else. People will say
a bunch of things but it really depends on what they
do.
Richard Merbler:
If you could do things and live your life a certain
way I think more than anything else that is a great
gift to others because it gives them inspiration to
try to do those things in their life that are
difficult that they know they should do.
Ralph Zuranski:
Do you have any good solutions to the problems
facing society, especially racism, child and spousal
abuse and violence among young people?
Richard Merbler:
All I can say to that, you know we have been talking
about giving yourself to the community and to making
yourself available to other people. Open your heart
and give support to others. That’s the best way you
can help.
Richard Merbler:
Because you are making a one on one connection
rather than making large statements in the media
which becomes fairly impersonal so it really doesn’t
touch people in their heart. I think if you can make
a connection with others and on a one to one
connection and share your values and share with them
what is important to you, you have a chance to shape
someone’s life.
Richard Merbler:
You can’t hate somebody that you know and somebody
that has helped you. Suddenly it doesn’t matter what
color they are, like with the Olympics, when people
get out and they compete with one another and they
get to sit down and have dinner with each other.
Richard Merbler:
It doesn’t matter what country you are from or what
language you speak or what color your skin is
because you begin to see what is in the other
person’s heart. Once you make that connection then a
lot of the other biased things you were afraid of
begin to dissolve.
Ralph Zuranski:
If you had three wishes for your life and the world,
that would instantly come true, what would they be?
Richard Merbler:
Wouldn’t that be great? Gosh suddenly my mind is a
blank, that is such an over-whelming question. I
know when I have been asked that in the past I would
have a fairly quick reply. Maybe I think my old
replies or answers were really hogwash.
Richard Merbler:
Wow, the instant wishes, peace, maybe a good one
would be for the second coming of Christ. When I
talk to other people about that they seem to be
focused on all the other things that are supposed to
happen before Christ comes which is not going to be
pleasant so they want to put that off and I would
like to get that over with. I don’t know if I can
answer that right now.
Ralph Zuranski:
What do you think about the “In Search Of Heroes”
Program and its impact on youth, parents and
business people?
Richard Merbler:
I think it is a great idea. The idea of being able
to help people in the community who are in need of
help and blending professionals with kids who are at
a very impressionable age and can really gain some
type of inspiration and maybe begin to realize that
the problems they are facing are not that
over-whelming and that these are things that people
have faced since the beginning of time.
Richard Merbler:
Maybe they begin to realize that “Oh if they can do
it, I can do it.” Hopefully that is what this
program will do, to give kids the ability and the
energy to do something with their life. I look at
everybody as being a very precious seed and if we
can just nurture every seed the best we can I think
things will be great.
Ralph Zuranski:
What are the things parents can do that will help
their children realize they too can be HEROES and
make a positive impact on the lives of others?
Richard Merbler:
The first and probably the most important thing is
to spend time with them, to go do things with them
whether they are going on trips or going on a hike,
or working around the house, or if they get involved
in community projects like our church, we go down to
Mexico and help build a mission and help repair
homes.
Richard Merbler:
When you are together and working on a project like
that I think that gives you the opportunity to then
begin to share experiences and also listen to things
that are going on with others. The parent can then
begin to develop a better relationship with their
kid. It is something that takes a lot of effort.