In Search Of Heroes Spreads Good News About Everyday, Real-Life Heroes Who Deserve Recognition For Their Good Works

Today I volunteered my time to go videotape Dr. Asa Morton's HELPS Eye Care Mission that he goes on each year to dark recesses of Guatemala. I have photoed and videotaped his "Thank You Dinner" every year for the last three years.

My dad really believed in helping the poor and unfortunate in other countries and contributed greatly to Dr. Morton's mission. Last year I can remember how thrilled he was to go and be with his friends and see the slide show presentation.

I see visions of him sitting in his wheel chair, with his contorted smile, complimenting all the women young and old on how beautiful they were and talking with the other contributors and supporters.

It is times like this that I realize helping others with time and money transcends our own selfish reality. When we realize there are so many people in the world who are blessed by a scrap of bread , a roof over their heads and a place to sleep, it is much easier to be thankful for all of our blessings. Our problems in comparison are nothing!

In light of the suffering of many people in the world it is sad to think we are so caught up in our own pathway to wealth and personal possessions and power that we lose sight of what is really valuable...helping others in our family and neighborhoods.

We don't have far to go to find others who need our help in our local neighborhoods...the sick, elderly, poor, depressed, confused, orphans, divorced, etc. Real personal power is not what we do for ourselves and how much adulation we gain but how we serve others who have no one else to help them but us.

take care,
ralph

Posted by ralph at 07:58 PM | Permalink

Warrior Forum response

Dear Mohamad,

Thank you for your encouragement. I really appreciate your comments.

"Be a hero yourself and be strong."

Sometimes it is tough being a hero in the matters of the heart. Running into a burning building to save people would almost seem easier because it is a one time event that is over in a few seconds.

"I lost my father suddenly. He was gunned down in the line of duty when I was still a teen and he was the sole breadwinner of the family."

I am so sorry to hear about your dad being gunned down in the line of duty. Was he a soldier or a policeman? It is really hard to loose your dad so young. I am so grateful to have had a relationship with my dad for so many years. How did your family ever survive without your dad, the major breadwinner?

"Your father is your hero. Now you can be your own hero by being there for your father."

My dad was my hero and I did my best to be a hero while taking care of him. But, it was extremely hard to be a hero all the time.

Sometimes, I just wanted it all to end so I could have my life back. The sacrifices you have to make are extreme. The financial difficulties and emotional suffering is
a catalyst to depression, despair, self-pity and all the other non-hero attitudes.

"It's good to know that you are expressing gratitude for the blessings and the goodness that has been shown to you and your father."

Words cannot adequately describe my gratitude for all the people like you who took the time to encourage me. If not for all the kind souls who supported me, I don't know what I would have done. I had no idea the death of my dad would affect me so much. I loved my mom and suffered greatly with her death last year on April 16, but was not prepared for the recent passing of my dad. I guess there is something profound when your last living parent dies.

"Rest assured your kindness and compassion will not go unrewarded."

Thank you for this assurance. God does promise, "Give and you shall receive." I am confident God will reward me for my taking care of my parents.

take care,
Ralph

Posted by ralph at 03:48 PM | Permalink

Heather Seitz: When I started, I started initially as a real estate investor and I’m still very active in that market. I wanted it so badly and I had, had a boyfriend at the time and we’d spent the holidays over in Spain and had come back and were not in a good spot. I had all my credit cards maxed out, $200 in the bank and we were living at his sister’s house.

Then sure enough we were going to come back, get everything together and we were going to go head off to Europe and live our life in Spain. In less than two weeks we broke up and I had another two weeks to get out of the house.

Penniless, I mean it was pretty tough plus I thought this was the person that I was going to spend my life with. Needless to say there were days that I didn’t want to get out of bed. During this time I had this training that I went to, the free training that sold me into a $4,000 training.

Well now to sweeten the pot I’d now committed to another person that I would pay them back the $4,000 by the end of that month. I kind of looked at myself in the mirror one day and was like what are you doing?

There are a few key moments in my life that I can look back at where as they say the rubber meets the road and you just say you know what, it’s a decision and you can’t really tell somebody and no goal-setting book or anything is going to do it. When something faces you and you’ve got the option to roll over or to get up and fight. It’s what you do in those moments and those are the decisions that shape your life and I chose just that.

I said well I’m going to fight this and I’m going to prove to everybody that says I can’t do it, wrong and I’m going to get my confidence back and I’m going to move forward, and that’s what I did.

Posted by ralph at 01:02 PM | Permalink

Dear MarkHBE,

Thank you for your condolences.

I am so sorry both your parents died when you were a teenager. Dealing with long illnesses is a challenging and oftentimes a horrific experience.

After four years of taking care of my mom and dad, it was agonizing to see them deteriorate slowly, especially in the light of the knowledge I gained in 30 years of alternative medicine research. I could have helped them so much.

They could have enjoyed longer lives and less suffering if only they were open to the wisdom I learned from top alternative medicine doctors all over the world.

But, my promise to them was to allow them full choice while they were alive, to choose their own destiny without me imposing what I believed was the right thing for them. It is so frustrating when you see your loved ones suffering and you know the answer that would solve their suffering in a matter of days.

I am feeling better every day. I feel my mom and dad's presence especially at mass every day when I approach the throne of God and have a little bread and wine with them. Every day I go, I feel closer and closer to them. I can hear their comforting words and feel their gentle touch.

I do keep the rest of my family and my friends close. They are a very special blessing and they do make me feel good.

I decided to get back into the physical activities I loved the most: teaching the "Inner Game Of Tennis," working out at a gym in Ocean Beach and playing and teaching "Tapeworm Tennis."

I still suffer the extreme loss of the two people who loved me the most. Life is empty without them, but I am making small gains in focusing on the present and living in reality rather than the past.

Take care,
ralph

Posted by ralph at 05:20 PM | Permalink

Bill Hibbler: Well, I started out at 15. I was doing the guitar thing. What I saw then is in order to do my job; I had to get backstage. I had to get through security. It’s kind of like a salesman that has to get past the secretary or the receptionist. You know… the gatekeepers. It was really kind of similar.

I would walk up at first and I would try to explain, “Well, I’m here and I’ve got these guitars.”

A lot of times I was asked by the band to be there, but somebody would mess up. My name wouldn’t be on the guest list. The security guys could care less. It was like, “Whatever. Your name is not on the list.”

So I observed that that wasn’t working. I was just going up trying to explain my situation. Going to all these shows, I would watch the stage door. I would see a road manager or someone come along and sometimes these people would have their backstage pass on and sometimes they wouldn’t.

I saw many people without a pass. Some guy with a briefcase covered in backstage passes from other shows would come walking in and he wouldn’t stop and try to explain. He would just walk in the door like he owns the place. It’s his production. He belongs there.

Those people were usually British. If the security guard questioned them, they were just kind of like, “What are you talking about?” They just looked at them like, “Of course I belong here.” I wasn’t consciously aware of it but I began to model those people. I went out and got my briefcase and I covered it with stickers. I didn’t have a bunch of backstage passes yet so I covered it with guitar manufacturer’s stickers.

I was a good mimic. I could do the British accent as well as the Brits could. That became the deal. I remember the first time I tried it. I just walked up and walked in the door.

Nobody asked me anything. If they would ask, it was, “Hey. Hello. Where do you think you’re going?”

I would just say “I’m going to the dressing room.” “Well, where’s your pass?” “I don’t know. I left it on the bus”, and I would just keep walking and they would sort of shrug and say, “Okay,” and let me go. I’ve even had arguments with them. It was like, “Alright mate.

I’m going to leave. When the band comes and they’re looking for their guitars, then you tell them that you didn’t let the guitars come in because I didn’t have a pass, alright?” Then you start to walk away and they’re like, “Oh, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Go ahead, go inside. You’re okay. That was my early experience with learning to model other people.

However, that was not the lowest point in my life. That’s how I began to overcome obstacles.

What happened when I went backstage to those shows is I saw this guy, the road manager. I was fascinated. He’s like the manager of the band on tour. He’s running the show. That’s what I wanted to be, but, I had no idea how to do that. There was no internet or anything then. It was hard to find any kind of role models.

I realized what I really needed to be doing is working with local bands and just getting more experience and working my way up. I was afraid to do that. I dropped out of college after six weeks. I was an accounting major. That would have been a horrible mistake.

I was managing a stereo store and I was good at it. I had accumulated a lot of stuff. I had two big stereos and I had a Betamax, which was a big deal then, but I wasn’t making a lot of money.

So I couldn’t do that and pay my bills and keep all my stuff. So, what happened is, and I don’t want to go through the whole story but I ended up with a really nasty drug habit. This was late seventies up to about 1980. I’d discovered cocaine.

That just knocked me on my butt. I ended up pawning everything I owned.

It was all gone. I used to have like seven or eight vintage guitars, gone. Stereos all that stuff gone. I had this huge stack of pawn slips. That was all I had left. I came to the point where I had been served an eviction notice from my apartment. The power was turned off. I was about to be homeless.

A friend of mine that was a drummer in a band came by. I’d worked for his band when I was in high school. He offered me a job going on the road with his new band. Up until that point, I wouldn’t have taken it. I would have wanted to but I couldn’t afford to do that.

So, I had to learn the hard way, and I had nothing to lose at this point.
I just had my clothes. I put some things in storage and I eventually lost that because I couldn’t pay the storage bill, but I became willing. That was the key, becoming willing.

I didn’t have to worry about cocaine right then because if you don’t have any money, you don’t have any cocaine.

That was definitely the lowest point. I was physically in bad shape. I had lost everything. I was really beaten down, but suddenly an opportunity presented itself. Within probably a year of that happening, I was road managing Humble Pie.

I had met the guys when I was doing the guitar thing before. I just became fearless. I went to every show and I just made myself known. I didn’t really know exactly what I was doing but I was just everywhere. So I just increased the odds.

You could listen to the whole story and say, “Well, I was in the right place at the right time.”

It was like I was everywhere and I was willing to do whatever it took. Whatever I needed to do, “Okay, fine.”

I ended up doing that and basically living out a dream. Now the alcohol and drug thing continued to interfere, especially alcohol which I wasn’t drinking before then. I discovered alcohol. It took me until 1989 to finally get sober. I discovered AA. I discovered that there was a group of people that had been there.

Again, I was just learning from their experience. I haven’t had a drink or done any drugs since then, 1989.

Again, that was when I discovered that you can’t always do it yourself. There’s strength in numbers. It wasn’t people preaching to you “Don’t drink.” It was just people saying, “Well, this is what I did.”

I’ve tried to teach people to model what’s worked for me. I don’t want to preach to people what to do. I am just, “Here’s my experience.”

Posted by ralph at 01:09 PM | Permalink

Frank Garon: Well, who’s to say that I’m not at the lowest point in my life right now? If I was able to look back and look at my entire life history and how the story ends, that’s one way I look at it.

I like to look at it as I’m not in as good of shape and I’m not as happy and I’m not as healthy and well-rounded and successful as I am going to be tomorrow, because, like I say, I try to work on continuous improvement.

On the other hand, it is also important to know where I came from. I think going bankrupt was pretty low, and when my grandmother on my dad’s side died on Christmas day 1980, that was pretty low.

I think choosing to leave my previous marriage, knowing that I would never raise (then Frankie wasn’t even two years old), knowing that the decision that I was making that was “best” for all of us, was a decision that would have me not under the same roof as him, to love him and protect him and kiss him goodnight every night.

I’d honestly have to say that that one right there, now that I think about it, that was a low point. There’s not too much lower than you can get, than saying, “Alright, this relationship is very unhealthy. If I stay, it’s going to destroy my son, too. Teach him bitterness, and anger, and spite, and fighting and things like that. So I’ll just be a man about it and leave, so he can live a better life.”

I’ve got to say, that was not a good day. I laid on the floor and I cried once my ex-wife and my son drove away. I felt like my world ended. I would still, however, make that decision again at that moment in time. That would be my answer.

Posted by ralph at 01:11 PM | Permalink

Response to Warrior Forum Post

Dear Sonia,

So many of our parents were real heroes. They knew the meaning of sacrificing for their families and our society. They loved God, their family and this country!

Isn't it interesting that the children of the heroes of the "Greatest Generation" are really concerned about our society today and it's insidious moral decay.

The real question is, "Are we willing to lay down our lives for our family and society and desirous of taking up the challenge of doing whatever it takes to make a stand against the pervasive evil that is seeking to destroy the world our parents created?"

You know and feel how important our parents faith and commitment was. My parents were married for 60 years. They gave me a lifelong example of what it means to not quit, no matter the obstacles or consequences, to join with like minded individuals to make a positive difference in the world.

They taught me that it is important to stand for what you believe even though you know persecution is a reality for those who speak out and won't be silenced by political correctness. It is time we make a stand for truth, honesty, integrity and morality and get as many other heroes to join with us in the current battle against the evil that threatens to destroy the world our parents gave us through the sacrifice of their lives.

"All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men and women to do nothing." author unknown

We need not shudder to think about what will happen when all of the greatest generation are all gone and social revisionists have corrupted the morals, values and ethics that made this country great.

Instead, we need to take action and find the personal courage to stand for a moral, ethical and just society where individuals work to benefit the whole rather than demanding total individualism that ends in anarchy.

When every man and woman seeks total freedom without any constraint they are setting themselves up as gods, who must experience both good and evil. They must be both evil and good so they can distinguish between the two and become our benevolent rulers who know better than us how to live our lives.

I really miss my mom and dad and their friends who have passed away. My passion is to find those special individuals who want to be a part of the next "Greatest Generation." It is not too late for good men and women to make a positive difference in our lives, our family members, our businesses, community, state, country and world.

take care,
ralph

PS Heroes rise up, the world needs you now!

Posted by ralph at 11:43 AM | Permalink

Dear skystar2 from the Warrior Forum
My mom and dad were both in World War II. I believe Tom Brokaw was correct when he said they were the "Greatest Generation." I agree that their values of devotion, duty and sacrifice for one's family and country were deeply ingrained in them by their parents.

Yes, my mom and dad instilled in my the love of God, family and country in that order. When I think about when I was young, those values were shared by the society in general.

There was no social fear for young children being sexually molested, murdered or kidnapped for ransom. From the age 5 I wandered the streets of Ocean Beach with impunity, riding my bike, walking and running as far as my human power could take me. My mom and dad only wanted to make sure I was home for dinner and did not ditch school too often.

What a difference in the world today that is at war with the Christian values, morals and ethics of the "Greatest Generation." With the expulsion of God and the Ten Commandments from schools, churches and the government we now have a society that is totally self-absorbed. They are locked into material possessions, a imaginary world created by TV and the internet and a destructive addiction to fantasy sex fulfilled and perpetuated through pornography.

Politicians, TV commentators and journalists twist the facts and come up with their own distorted truth. They try to perpetuate their perspective on reality by saying their vision of truth over and over again until people accept their distorted vision as social truth.

With no absolutes or right and wrong, every person now has the freedom to do whatever they want. The only sin is getting caught doing something the majority or the power hungry judges say is wrong.

The new morality is moral expedience. Political correctness has demonized everyone with a different point of view rather than the accepted liberal, socialist view that the government is the answer to all of societies problems and the politicians and bureaucrats are our saviors.

They know better how to spend our tax money on themselves by lining their pockets and paying off their cronies. Sometimes I wonder what every happened to "Mister Smith Goes to Washington." We desperately need people in government who have honesty, integrity and ethics.

I truly miss the people of the "Greatest Generation." I shudder to think what will happen when they are all gone and social revisionists have corrupted the morals, values and ethics that made this country great.

take care,
ralph

Posted by ralph at 03:04 PM | Permalink

Troy White: I think it probably hit me just over three years ago. I had spent eleven years in sales in the computer industry. I worked for some very large companies like Hewlett Packard. It was an industry that paid very well but I did not enjoy.

Right now my twins are four, so three years ago they were one. I came home from work one day bummed out because I was not enjoying my day and not enjoying my life and the direction of my life. Every time I came home my kids seemed to be getting bigger and I wasn’t seeing any of it, and I think to me that was really when I hit rock bottom.

I decided I was not going to live the rest of my life hating what I do for a living and missing out on everything that is so important to me. It was right then and there that I made a fairly quick decision. I talked with my wife, Kari, and we decided that it was time for me to go off on my own and start following the dream.

I have always had businesses on the side but it was time to commit fully to one. So I kind of took my low point and I said, “Well, what do you really want to do? Who do you really want to be” and I just started following that dream and never looked back. It’s been the best journey of my life.

Posted by ralph at 01:13 PM | Permalink

Kevin Hurley: The lowest point in my life would probably be about six or seven years ago when I really decided to focus on this full time. It’s an incredible challenge to build a business or to build anything up from the ground.

Obviously, financial burdens are a difficulty for many people. That would encompass, just having the faith, just thinking of the Rocky movies and to keep going and to keep going. There’s going to be light at the end of the tunnel. That would be my best advice. If you believe in something, lock onto it and don’t let go.

Jay Conrad Levinson: I’d say that probably the lowest point was when I thought that I had achieved my lifetime ambition working in Chicago. It was thirteen degrees below zero and I thought, “Boy, here I am having done everything that I wanted to do. However, it’s really cold here and I don’t think I want to live the rest of my life here.”

I thought that I was a success, but when I went to my advertising agency and went to the boss and asked them to transfer me I was told that that was just not possible and it dawned on me that I was really a slave in a three-piece suit. Although I wasn’t doing manual labor, I was doing hard labor and was still getting a place not fit for man or beast because of the weather.

When I had determined my lifestyle ambition I was twenty-one years old and hadn’t factored in the weather, but now that I was near thirty and I felt it, and I thought I was a free man, that I could do anything. So when I asked for that transfer I thought, “Of course I’ve earned it and I can do it.”

However, I was told that it was impossible to transfer me and I felt at the bottom, that all along I had deluded myself. I had been a slave. I thought I was just a nicely paid employee at an advertising agency with very little control over my life because here I was doing what I wanted to do but I didn’t have the freedom to pick up and move elsewhere. So that was a bad feeling.

I knew also that in order to get out of it I had to take the kind of action that would risk my career. I had to leave my job, leave my security, and leave my income, but I did it because I wanted to feel the sense of freedom all over again.

Posted by ralph at 01:04 PM | Permalink

Dear Wofawarrior,

Thank your for your virtual hugs and feelings of love for me and my family. It is people like you and the other wonderful individuals who posted to this thread.

It is amazing how much support I received from my internet family. So many people I don't even know were praying for me and my family and continue to do so. I appreciate this very much.

I am sorry you had to go through the loss of one or both parents. I guess we are all fated to do at one time or another.

I agree that its not easy. It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

I can not tell you how many times I wished for a different fate for both my mom and dad, perhaps a sudden death like that experienced by Tim Russert recently.

After taking care of them for so long, I consider a quick death a blessing rather than a curse. Although, a instant death is tough on those who remain. It is hard to say which is more difficult for the survivors: instant death or a lingering demise.

"They say time heals all wounds, well I wouldn't say that but it does teach you to live with them.
It takes a while."

I agree. I guess the person who said that either had unlimited time or was depending on Alzheimer's or senility to wipe the mind clean.

That had to be very hard on you with your mom suffering a stroke and dying of cancer. It is tough to see your parent so unhappy and wishing they were dead. The almost dead, the comeback, then almost dead, then comeback recurring cycle is extremely tough for everyone. Sometimes you want to scream...Enough!!!

Not knowing what was coming was challenging, although having biorhythm charts on everyone in the household was a huge advantage for marshaling scarce emotional resources and having an idea of when were the most dangerous and unstable times. Knowing when to allow invasive procedures when the patients have the greatest chance to survive is invaluable.

It was good you had 14 months with your mom. It is an amazing experience to go through the death process with a loved one. The bonding is the most powerful I have every felt, especially with 3 years with my mom and 4 years with my dad.

Even though the emotional and financial challenges were severe, you cannot put a price on the emotional and spiritual rewards you receive when you do the right thing for the people in your life. There is something special about your parents telling you thank you for changing their diapers and feeding them when they can no longer take care of themselves.

Take care,
Ralph

Posted by ralph at 10:06 AM | Permalink

Chuck Daniel: I guess a low point would have been when I was quite young. I was 21 at the time, and I was attending the University of Alberta in Edmonton, Alberta in Canada.

I was off for the summer, and I woke up one morning with this giant swelling on my neck. At first, I was kind of freaked out because I hadn’t had mumps yet, and that can have some pretty severe consequences if you get it as an adult, but it turns out I had something worse!

I had a form of cancer; the technical term is lymphoblastic lymphoma. It’s a form of cancer in which people of that age, the age of 21, it is normally fatal, and so I guess, you could say the low point for me is that at that age when you basically feel like you are invincible, you’re getting some news saying, "Hey, you’re not invincible and you have a pretty severe disease and you have to come to terms with it."

For me, that was one of the lowest points of my life, at least in terms of the news and then, you have to come and gain some perspective that way.

I guess you asked, "How did it change my life?" I guess it changed it in some pretty fundamental ways. I don’t know if I’ve been pretty victorious against everything I’ve come up against. I have taken what I’ve learned from having cancer and been successful for most things.

You get a perspective that says, I decided that no matter what, I was going to do everything that I could to try and beat the disease, even though the treatment that they had at that time was not the greatest. The standard treatment was chemotherapy and radiation, and it wasn’t an exact science. They just did the best they could based on how they had treated people previously.

So, what I decided to do was that I decided I was going to try and beat it and I did beat it. I’m happy to say that I’ve been in remission for more than 20 years now.

The thing that happened from that is that I got the perspective of, I’m not invincible. I think part of my cancer was caused by the stress of a lot of things going on in my life just at that time, and so I learned to put things in perspective and not get so stressed out about certain things. Also, the fact that something even as severe as cancer can be beaten if you believe that you can beat it and that attitude has really affected everything that I have done from that point on.

Posted by ralph at 01:17 PM | Permalink

Response to Warrior Linda

Dear Linda,

Thanks for your kind words. I appreciate your reading my posts and actually sharing your good feeling with me. "As I sip my glass of wine I toast you and wish you great JOY!" I just wish we could have shared the glass of wine together physically rather virtually.

Thank you for sending me light and love on my mothers birthday. I am working hard to have a better understanding of life.

I guess the more difficult the experiences the greater the growth and trust in benevolent higher powers. What has really helped me over the years of all the catastrophic events with my parents, not judging the events as "good" or "bad" really helped a lot to stay focused on the present.

Since I had no control over their lives or deaths, there was a certain peace at choosing whatever therapies would minimally prolong life. I just had to stand buy and do whatever was needed next. With sick and dying parents, the choices were pretty clear.
take care,
ralph

Posted by ralph at 12:10 PM | Permalink

Father's Day was amazing. I had the opportunity to think about all the great days I spent with my dad over the years. It was always a pleasure to thank him with a beautiful Father's Day card for all the ways he blessed me financially, emotionally, spiritually.

Thinking about him yesterday was such a fulfilling experience because I know he is with our Father in heaven. He is enjoying a peace that goes beyond understanding, spending time with his wife, brother, mom and dad and other family members who are already in heaven. The fellowship and joy has to be incredible.

When I go to mass every day, it seems mom and dad are there with me worshiping God. Time slows down as I partake a small taste of eternity. Reality, every day I go to God's house, seems to expand to encompass a dimension I have never before experienced.

I think the prayers of my mom and dad for me directly to Jesus' ear is working. My grief is gone and I am filled with joy and anticipate the future and making the world a better place, one energizing hug at a time. Thanks DAD for the encouragement and example of loving people by giving them a totally accepting hug without any strings or stipulations.

take care,
ralph

PS Today is my mom's birthday. I decided to buy a bottle of wine and drink a few birthday toasts to her. I definitely miss her and know she is in a much better place. Her last years were extremely difficult on her.

Posted by ralph at 01:14 PM | Permalink

Willie Crawford: I want anyone reading this call to go to GitOffThePorch.com, and read my biography. I talk about getting up one morning, walking into the shower, taking a shower and in the middle of the shower collapsing and I made such a thunderous noise that my wife rushed into the bathroom and saw me lying in the shower dying. I’m convinced I was dying at that time.

She yells and screams at me “Don’t you do this, don’t you leave me”. She yelled and she screamed so much that there was a part of me that thought you know, I’m tired, I’m very tired. At that point I’d probably been drunk for like six months every single day.

I was a functional walking drunk. I would go to work and do my job and drive back and forth, and I could function perfectly normal but my body had said you completely overwhelm me, I’m tired and I’m lying on the floor of a shower with the water flowing and the room is going dark.

It was my wife’s yelling and screaming that I guess pulled me out of it enough to where she helped me out of the shower, and I sat down on the toilet lid and got dressed and they took me to the hospital where they sent me into treatment for alcohol addiction at the time.

A third of my blood was alcohol. It was in excess of .35 I think it was.

It should have poisoned my brain enough where my brain should have stopped working and so they sent me to a 28 day treatment program, and that was the low point of my life. It was the weeks leading up to that I had done a number of crazy things.

I spent three years in Alaska where I was assigned as a soldier and when you go out fishing, or in the wilderness in Alaska you can look behind you and see a bear or a wolf or a badger or some other creature that wants to hurt you.

I carried a 44 Magnum pistol with bare rounds and these rounds were powerful enough, where somebody can drive at you with a car and you can shoot through the radiator into the engine block of a car with a 44 Magnum and stop that car.

That is how powerful that pistol was. I went from Alaska to Florida with the military, I brought my pistol along, and at my lowest point I actually considered suicide. I can remember being out drunk and thinking I’ve lost control. I’m a control freak.

I thought to myself that I’ve lost control and I thought “Ah I’m going to end it all”. I actually stuck my gun to my head and cocked it and then I thought I don’t want to die alone I want somebody to hold me in their arms as I die. That is what stopped me from shooting myself.

I just didn’t want to be out by myself in the middle of nowhere with no one appreciating the fact that I was killing myself.

I wanted to be touched by another human being as I died. That was the lowest part probably in my life.

Many people go through that and it’s important for those people to realize that it’s ok to be that way, but you need to reach out to others and let them know that you’re struggling because there’s people who are there to help you.

People helped me and you know I turned around, but that was a low point in my life. I was on the verge of taking my own life. I collapsed in the shower and was on the verge of my body just saying ok we give up. You’ve abused me too much and I came back and at that point I was making over $100,000.00 a year on the internet.

You know things have turned around enough now where its seven figures and it happened and when the momentum kicks in its just amazing, just totally amazing. It’s mind boggling.

For me it’s all about serenity. It’s all about being at peace and at ease and comfortable with your role in the world, and if you’re not happy with where you are and with who you are, then you know something is out of kilter, but you need to find that balance because otherwise life is just not worth living to you.

Serenity is very important to me. Peace and happiness is very important to me. I mean I live in northwest Florida where I can get up any day and just go out go fishing whatever, and as long as there are no hurricanes, I can just go out and go fishing I can be out in the middle of the ocean.

The ocean is the most peaceful place in the world. I mean it puts me in touch with my tiny place in the world, because I am just one little tiny speck, a dot in the universe.

You can go out and look down in the ocean and see a school of a million fish and you realize how vast things are, and if you look on your depth finder and you see the ocean that spots like five miles deep which is incredible.

You realize that if you fell overboard you would never reach the bottom, because the water pressure and the things change and you would sink slower and slower and slower and you’d never reach the bottom.

That’s just incredible, but you know I’m all about serenity, I’m all about being happy with what I do and I when I was in the military I’d wake up everyday I’d look at the television and there was the news on and everyday there’s a conflict in the world. Theirs like 35 wars going on in the world right now whether most people think about it or not. I mean Korea has been at war since the 50’s.

They are still technically at war. You know the north against the south. There is about 35 wars going on in the world, and as a soldier I would look on the television and say “Where am I going to be tonight?”

I didn’t know and there came a point where I just said I’m tired of this and I want to experience some of my children’s birthdays and just be more in control of where I am at the end of the day, and that is when I decided I was going to leave the military and build my own business and make it a success. You see failure was never an option for me.

It was; you will build a successful business and you will make over a million dollars a year from your successful business. It was never an option that I could do anything other than that.

Posted by ralph at 12:52 PM | Permalink

Ted Nicholas: Well, the lowest point of my life, I've been very blessed that I haven’t had any real severe lows, I guess the closest I've come to the lowest point is after many years is when I started my first business at age twenty-one. I was voted outstanding businessman in my state at age twenty-nine and I felt much honored.

A couple of years after that, a long series of events, most of which were out of my control, I was in the candy and ice cream business at the time. Two of my many stores were bypassed and I lost a lot of volume. I couldn't replace it because there were new toll roads that were taking the traffic away from my shops.

I started a franchise business and I basically had to close the business and it was very painful to me because some of my franchisees, some of my suppliers were hurt financially and although they almost all forgave me immediately for the circumstances that caused that, for me, I felt emotionally very low during that period.

So I would say that is kind of the ultimate depth that I felt. I felt that, rock bottom, that many of the things that I believed in and still do were, how do I say it, I questioned some of the things that I so believed in at those moments. I had some questions; I had a lot of thinking and feeling to get through that period.

Posted by ralph at 01:01 PM | Permalink

Response to Warrior Forum Johnson

Dear Johnson,

AMEN to all the great dads out there, especially on Fathers' Day!

That is great to hear that your dad is your hero. We need more sons and daughters talking about the heroes our parents are and were.

WHY WAIT till they are dying or dead before we honor them or thank them or tell them we love them.

A lot of times we don't realize just how much our dads and moms sacrificed for us while we are growing up. It is incredible to consider the costs of food, shelter, clothing and schooling, let alone goodies, sports equipment, technology and gadgets.

Patience is such an awesome blessing to kids while they are growing up. Living in a stressful world and raising a family, sometimes it is easier to shoot verbally from the hip first, ask questions later and let God sort them out.

Asking your kids' forgiveness for your sins against them is one of the most difficult things in the world, but probably the most valuable of way of getting them to love and respect you more.

Your dad sounds like a saint. Biting your tongue and biding your time is a real gift developed over a long time of making mistakes that you learn from. Patience is born of love and being long-suffering.

In my own experience with the initial difficulties I had with my dad, things changed dramatically when I was able to totally forgive him for every perceived grievance and mistake while I was growing up. The change had to come from my heart first before he was allowed to be the kind, loving and compassionate person he was.

It was the darkness in my heart that forced him to act in a way I did not desire while I was growing up. My angry, resentful and hateful feelings for him forced him to act in a specific way that matched how I expected him to respond to me.

I am thankful our reconciliation occurred back in 1980 when I experienced the forgiveness of Jesus Christ for my sins...not on his death bed. One of my friends at that time, who shared the message of salvation with me, confronted me about my malignant relationship with my dad. He challenged me to forgive him just as Jesus forgave forgave me.

My dad and I had a wonderful, fulfilling relationship for over 28 years. It was one of my greatest joys to take care of him and my mom till the end. It was a transcendental experience to be holding their hands as they took their last breath.

take care,
ralph

Posted by ralph at 09:20 AM | Permalink

With the unexpected death of Tim Russert today we again experience the shocking fact...Life is fragile.

The "Grim Reaper" eventually comes for us all. It does not matter who you are, where you are, what you are doing, how rich or poor, famous or infamous, healthy or sick, happy or sad.

With Tim Russert's many years as a reporter and political commentator, he had the ability to ask hard questions that made many individuals squirm in their seats as they tried to distort the truth to match their political position. He was a great journalist who inspired many up and coming writers.

The big question is, "Who will replace this amazing man?"

After listening to all the TV commentators today, the thing that stands out is their "SHOCK and DESPAIR" at his sudden death. When someone of Tim's stature dies so suddenly, it gives everyone pause. Those who knew him are forced to consider what will happen to them when they die, suddenly or agonizingly slow.

"Is there an after life?"

"Does God really exist?"

"Are there any moral absolutes?"

"Is there judgment for our sins and rewards for righteousness?"

"Were the Ten Commandments commands or merely ten suggestions?"

These are timeless questions. I think most of us do everything we can to not think about these issues.

From my recent experience of my dad's death April 30th, 2008, one of the huge blessings of taking care of dying parents is your forced daily reality, "Is this the last day here on earth?"

It is a little frightening to realize that there is no guarantee we will live one second longer than the people we are caring for, who are involved in the death process. I believe that it is only the grace of God that gives us time to ponder our lives and search for true meaning...perhaps salvation or even sanctification.

I used to think that when a person drops dead suddenly, "What a catastrophe!"

After taking care of my mom for the last 3 years and dad 4, and watching their gradual decline, loss of personal freedom and inevitable descent into the hell of terminal sickness, now my perspective has changed.

It is easier to say, "What a blessing to escape the long term suffering of a long and drawn out death. Thank God his family was spared the years of sorrow and daily suffering and grief."

We can rejoice with Tim that he miraculously went from earth to heaven instantly and is now experiencing the rewards of a life well-lived and a career that brought light to a world of constant darkness.

In his books you see his love for his dad and reliance on the true moral values and ethical code instilled in him by his father, Big Russ...the attitude and code that made this country great. I felt the same way about my mom, dad and uncle.

What a sad day when we experience the loss of another shinning light and brilliant intellect that knew the difference between good and evil, who appreciated the great contribution of his parents' generation.

Tim was a great orator and interviewer who always worked hard to focus the hard light of truth on the world of darkness where political correctness, moral expediency and an all out attack on the religious foundation of this country has destroyed much of what Tim's parents created and passed on to his generation.

After spending so much time on the video eulogies for my mom and dad and Uncle Jerry, who recently passed away, I pondered long and hard on the values and optimism of my parents generation. The most poignant part of the eulogies were the 21 gun salute, taps, the folding of the military flag and its presentation with the solemn words by a soldier, "On behalf of the President of the United States and a grateful nation, our country's flag is presented as a token of appreciation for many years of faithful service."

Filled with sadness for his grieving family, Big Russ, his dad, wife Maureen and son Luke, I just wanted to say you are in my prayers.

take care,
ralph

PS Photos and videos when merged together in a powerful story can inspire, enlighten, uplift, entertain and bring tears to your eyes. I have uploaded my tribute to my mom and dad and also my dad's brother Jerry Zuranski.

This video is a celebration of the lives of my mom and dad who were both in the Air Force During World War II. My mom was a flight nurse and my dad was a bombardier in the "B-26 Widow Maker bombers," so-called because close to 75% of the men who flew in this unforgiving stubby winged aircraft with monstrous engines were killed by the anti-aircraft fire, enemy fighters, equipment failure and miserable, often times impossible weather conditions.

My dad even survived the crash of his bomber in France on the way back from a mission. He was found 500 yards from the crash site. When the plane hit, the glass dome in the nose of the airplane disintegrated upon impact.

My dad became an unwilling, unidentified flying object. Even now I believe he was caught by angels who minimized his injuries. It was a miracle he survived.

Both of my mom and dad received military honors. The flag on my dad's casket is something I will cherish as long as I live and remember the courage of my parents' generation and their service to this country.

Video Tribute To My Mom and Dad

I had the privilege of creating a video celebration of their lives that I have posted on youtube.com for your enjoyment and inspiration. Sometimes you don't realize how proud you are of family members and friends and how much you loved them until after they are gone.

My Uncle Jerry, my dad's brother, was a Bronze Star Medal winner with Clusters in World War II during the Battle of the bulge in Europe. Our troops were horribly outnumbered and the fighting was brutal. They were running low on food, bullets and medical supplies because the supply lines had been ruptured by the Germans. They were surrounded in an almost hopeless situation.

My uncle had to take over command after all the officers above him were killed or wounded. At his funeral, some of the men who served with him told me how Uncle Jerry saved the lives of many men in an impossible situation. Out of 600 men only about 150 survived.

Video Tribute To My Uncle Jerry Zuranski, Bronze Star Medal Winner with Clusters

Posted by ralph at 01:07 PM | Permalink

Perry Marshall: That’s a good question. Everybody has different hard spots in their life. They are always hard for different reasons and lots of times you can’t compare one to the other.

My dad died when I was 17. There was a three year process of fighting cancer and the emotional roller coaster of “Dad is going to be okay, Dad’s not going to be okay, Dad’s going to be okay” and all that.

Most people, by the time they are well into adulthood have probably experienced that with somebody. I remember being really upset about that.

I remember having this conversation with my mom where I said, “Well, I guess God gave me a dad and if God is going to take my dad away then God can do that.”

Later on, it would have been about a month after my dad died, I was a senior in high school and I was taking this class. We had this interesting assignment to write a philosophy of life. By virtue of having been through the wringer with this I had given those questions a lot more thought than probably most kids do at that age.

I hope I remember this correctly; I wrote down three things and I turned this in. I said, “Nothing is worth living for unless it’s worth dying for, because to live for something is to spend time which you can not get back in pursuit of it.” That was the first one.

I didn’t make up any of this stuff myself. I got it all from other people. The second one was “The difficult things you deal with in life will make you a stronger, better person, but only if you let them.”

The third one I think comes from the Westminster Confession. It says, “The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.”

That was my philosophy of life at age 17, and I don’t think I would change that now. I think that was pretty good, but being forced to confront a lot of hard issues is, I think, the only way you really figure out what is important and what is not.

Posted by ralph at 01:06 PM | Permalink

Michel Fortin: I wrote a book over ten years ago that I just recently put to the Internet for free, and it was a book that I’d written as a way to teach my own self how to go through some of the hardships that I was going at that time. I was a go getting, goal-achieving, goal-oriented, Type A personality, do as much as you possibly can-type person and I realized that I was achieving a lot.

I was making a lot of money. I was a salesperson working on commission and I was doing very well until I realized that I was neglecting and ignoring other things, and especially my own self, the quality of my life. I was focusing too much on quantity of time rather than quality of life.

Well, lo and behold, in what seemed like a matter of hours I lost everything in my life, my home, my car, my furniture, my wife. I lost everything and then I went into bankruptcy and I even had to look at sleeping at the YMCA for shelter and then I started writing that book and I realized there are far more important things out there than, you know – first of all, people are more important and second of all is time.

Time is a commodity, a scarce commodity and what you don’t do in this moment is something you will never be able to do, in that moment anyways. When that moment’s gone, it’s gone. Do you want to spend it working like, you know, on your business?

Sure, if it gives you some kind of feeling that I’m doing something that I absolutely love to do or do you want to work in a job dreading those years until you retire? Or are you going to work so much that you neglect the people who you love? So the point, I’m saying, is that low of the low that I have gone through was the most precious and beautiful gift that I have ever received.

It was the biggest lesson that I had to learn and that’s what I – that pretty much encompasses everything I just said up until this point.

Posted by ralph at 01:15 PM | Permalink

God puts mentors in your path. They may not look like you, sound like you, or be what you expect. But they always know more than you. Maria Shriver

Posted by ralph at 11:28 AM | Permalink

Since you have read this thread for so long, I thought you might enjoy the history of my dad's and uncle Jerry's family. I know they were both very proud of the Zuranski name as I am.

Biography of Kazimier Zuranski Family
Born; 1887
Anna born 1893
At 18, in 1905, left Poland for the United States of America. Upon arrival, he continued on to Cleveland, Ohio where there were members of the Zuranski family. He remained in Cleveland for a period of time before moving to South Dakota, and then on to Chicago Illinois.

About 1916 he joined Polish General Hallers Army of Polish Volunteers. He then went to Canada for further training in military tactics.

In 1918 the unit he was in moved to France for military operations. After the defeat of Germany, he returned to Poland to fight the Russian Bolsheviks.

After completing his service with General Haller, he visited with his family and returned to the United States.

In 1920 he married our mother Anna Czosek, he was 33 at the time. Jerry arrived 18 months later. 18 months later Ralph arrived followed by Anna 18 months later. Casey came about 8 1/2 years later.

Our Family lived at several locations in Cragin a section of Chicago. Our father worked as a candy and tobacco salesman for a firm named Poterek. During this period, one of his customers asked him to look after their store while they visited Poland. After three months of selling notions, tobacco and occasionally bootleg whiskey. Our parents were able to earn about 3000 dollars for their effort.

This money allowed the purchase the house at 2223 Leamington Ave, which was our home for many years.

Our father was active as an official in a savings and loan association, as its secretary

All of us attended St Stanislaus B&M. After graduation, Ralph attended Lane Tech High School. Jerry drove a delivery truck for Poterek and handled our father’s customers during an illness. He later attended Forman High. I don’t think that Anna attended high school. Casey attended St Mels.

Our father enjoyed playing pinochle on Fridays, but he and particularly, our mom looked after us kids. Our mother was also performed all the tasks around the house, such as painting, gardening other tasks in which we the kids were often the laborers.

We had a normal childhood. Our mother had a large family; she was the oldest of 11 children. Her parents needed help with the family so she was only able to complete six years of grade school. There were many relatives and we visited often, particularly on Sunday afternoon at our grand parents home, which was three doors from where we lived.

Our father was known as Charley to his relatives and friends. He was upbeat, friendly and encouraging.

In 1939, our father was planning a visit to Poland to have our family visit his family. Fortunately, we did not go. It seems our father, had to leave Poland to avoid conscription. It was thought that our father left Poland dressed as a woman.

Pearl Harbor created a real problem for the United States and all of us. Many people thought that the war would end before we had a chance to defend ourselves. However, as a result of some preliminary action by our forces and a rapid increase and development of a military force and arsenal, we were able to us to put up a defense.

Jerry and Ralph enlisted into the military forces. Ralph wound up being in the Air Force as a Bombardier-Navigator, and Jerry first as a cadet in a Navy flight school. It made our Dad proud to have his boy’s pass the rigorous tests to qualify. At this time, there were more cadets than training slots than positions, which allowed him to enlist a second time and eventually as a First Sergeant in the 42nd Rainbow Division.

Both of them were in combat in the European theater, Ralph bombing Germany and Jerry advancing through France and Germany taking many casualties. An article in the local paper identified Sergeant Zuranski’s unit as the first American unit to enter Schwienfurt. Both survived their tours of duty in combat. As a former military man it pleased our father that we chose to enlist. Our father was an air warden and our mother was an awarded knitter for the Red Cross. She received many awards for the number of hours she spend knitting garments for the military. It was said, that our father loaded his car with copies of the newspaper, and gave the newspapers to his customers.

It this time that Ralph was injured in an aircraft accident and was returned to America for recovery. Jerry remained in Germany with the occupation force, and then released from active duty. During a reunion of the family after the war, our father was pleased that his sons had served with honor and distinction.

The Korean War started, and it was Casey’s turn to enlist and complete the family’s participation in the defense of the United States. Needless to say, it further pleased our father that all his sons served in our counties military service.

Our fathers later years were spent as an officer in the savings and loan performing the duties as a trustee.

Ralph married, reentered the Air Force and move on, Jerry married and moved to Cleveland. Anna and Casey also married, Anna remaining in Chicago and Casey moving to Indianapolis.

In 1965, our father died of lung cancer.

Our mother maintained residence at our Cragin home, with Anna and her family moving in with her to assist in her later years. She died in 1990 after a lengthy illness.

In closing, let it be known that our parents were well liked by everyone they met. Our father helped wherever there was need. He never used profanity. He enjoyed a glass of Rock and Rye or Rock and Rum after work, but to the best of our knowledge never drank Alcohol excessively.

Our parents endured a great hardship after their marriage with jobs being scarce and bringing up a family of four during the era of prohibition and war. They instilled in us all the behavior and values that produced responsible citizens that supported the country and their church. They are greatly missed, and we hope to be with them when it is our turn to move on.

We pass this biography on to our children hopefully to fill in some of the lore that was not passed on to you. It will be up to you to complete Chapter II as it pertains to your families.

I guess it will be up to me. I just hope my video tribute to my dad, mom and uncle Jerry is adequate.

take care,
ralph

Posted by ralph at 02:27 PM | Permalink

Sharif Khan: As a very young child I grew up with a lot of racial hatred and prejudice because of the color of my skin and being a South Asian. I grew up with a lot of low self-esteem and low self-worth, and carried it all through my young adulthood.

There was a tragic time in my life when my father passed away. I was 18 and I was going to high school in the States at that time. That was a devastating experience for me because my father was my best friend and a beacon of light and hope for me, and he encouraged me to excel and be the best I can be. When my father passed away in a car accident, I fell into a spiral of deep depression.

Because of my low self-esteem and low sense of self-worth, I didn’t see any way out and I was immersed in darkness and didn’t know where to turn. At the time, my father didn’t have any life or car insurance. I had to pay my way for my last year of high school (a private boarding school).

I ended up corking and uncorking blood specimen test tubes, working in a lab, and separating urine and stool samples all day long. Not the most exciting summer job for a student. Within a very short period of time, I became an alcoholic at 18 and I was passed out drunk on the streets of Queens, NY and on the subways and didn’t have a hope in the world.

That was the lowest point in my life and also a turning point in my life, because that was a point I decided. I knew where I was heading and I didn’t want to end up like another statistic. I wanted to get myself out of that situation. For me personally, it was turning to God.

Letting go and letting God, and God intervened in my life. That was an incredible turning point in my life and turning to faith and the Higher Power in me was what gave me strength and got me out of that situation.

Posted by ralph at 01:21 PM | Permalink

Jeff Dedrick: Overall I’ve had a pretty darned good life. Some people have a lot of hardships. I was listening to your interview with Tom Beal earlier today and I know Tom.

He was talking about some of his experiences in life and it’s almost like an opposite extreme where I have a story where his parents were teenagers and there is a lot of divorce and the story of him being ejected from a car and not being able to walk, all of these things.

I’ve had a pretty good life overall now. Sometimes this is hard for me to talk about, but my wife and I did go through a rocky patch and I would have to say personally that was the lowest point in my life.

The whole thought that I could be losing my kids, meaning that the wife would move away to the other side of the country to the state of Oregon, I’m in the state of Wisconsin right now.

That was tough to even think because I knew the outcome of what could possibly happen of the kids being away from their dad. You’ve heard all of the stories and that alone caused me to decide for us to work on it. I might have told you the story that it went right out to the day before or maybe two days before the actual final divorce hearing that I called it off.

I would say that was the lowest point, but I also I had some control on it and I made that decision to change it. I’m really glad that I did make that change.

Posted by ralph at 12:55 PM | Permalink

Stephen Pierce: Lowest point? Wow! I would probably say when I think about where I’ve come from as far as the lowest point. I don’t have a college education or a college degree, if you will. I don’t have a high school diploma. I dropped out of high school, more like I got kicked out of high school because I was a big troublemaker.

I ended up being homeless for like three months. I filed bankruptcy twice. They threw out the second bankruptcy because I filed it too close to the first one and I didn’t know about the rules that you can’t file them too close to each other.

I was running the streets. I used to be a drug dealer and I ended up getting shot. It was a close call because the gun was being held to my head, but as more ruckus started to break out he turned and lowered the gun, and as he was running he fired into my right leg and that bullet is still lodged there today.

I actually went to the hospital. You know, you have this guy that’s off the streets with no insurance cards or anything they were like, “Well, it’s better to leave the bullet in where it is right now. It would probably cause more trouble or damage if we went in and tried to pull it out.”

That was pretty much, “You don’t have insurance to pay for it and we’re not going to do it.” I wasn’t paying them cash for it or anything like that.

I went through that. Then there was this horrible thing in my life. I got to the point where I felt this, “You know what? My life was pretty much destined to be a part of that group that never does anything good, that is always going to be experiencing poverty. That is always going to be experiencing trouble.”

I was supposed to be the opposite. I got to a point where I felt like, “I’m supposed to be the guy that those who are successful look at and then appreciate their lives much more.” It didn’t have to be that way, I was feeling that way.

I remember one time I was in the house and somebody that was really dear to me looked at me and said, “Everything you touch turns to dust.”

For me it was a huge mental battle and an emotional battle because I tried to find some kind of reference point that I could look at and say, “You know what, that is not true because I did this good. I did that good.”

I’m sure there were some little moments in my life up to that point where that was so, but all these big things just hit me like a hurricane.

In my brain it was almost like, “You know, you’re right. All these different things that I did were complete failures. I’m nothing but trouble.”

I got our family evicted when we were young because I was just causing trouble in the neighborhood. You know it is pretty bad when they say, “Listen you’re evicted, not because you are not paying your rent, but we are tired of that tyrant of a kid that you have. You guys gotta go!”

It just got really, really bad. I still remember that because it was more so a violent thing because I ended up fighting a bunch of the lifeguards that were on duty at a swimming pool.

They had the pool pass and that’s how they knew that I was one of the people. Some of the other guys that were equally involved they kind of got off and got away with it, but I think all these things come to kind of accumulated to a low point being in my life. Being not just one specific moment, but this extended moment where it wasn’t just a day or days or weeks.

It was more like months where I was just going through this process of trying to figure out what in the world am I going to do with my life. I think one of the turning points, when I really started to wake up was after I got shot.

It was at the Moses H. Cone Hospital out in Greensboro, North Carolina because that’s where I ended up getting shot at. I was sitting there thinking, “You know what? I could be dead right now.

I could be lying in the morgue on a cold slab as opposed to up here in a hospital about to get released in about a week or so.”

After being discharged from the hospital my dad, one of the reverends from the church I was going to and my brother drove down to get me. I had some time to reflect to try to figure out, “What is it I want to do with my life?”

I had some people that were telling me, “You know what? You are brilliant but you are using your brilliance for evil, if you will. You are doing things that are hurting people. You are doing things that are hurting yourself and people are just wondering if you want to live to see 19 or 20 years old.”

I was living life fast. I was running down the wrong streets and running with the wrong crowds. I didn’t have a sense of direction for myself and I was kind of following people who obviously didn’t have a sense of direction for themselves, because they were just following other people and it all led to these negative things.

I got into reading the Bible and then I got into reading other books like Think and Grow Rich, Success through a Positive Mental Attitude and those kinds of books. I started to think a little bit differently about what is possible.

When I was reading Think and Grow Rich, I was looking at how all these other people kind of had a great deal of failure in their life before they experienced success.

I started to think, “You know what? Maybe everything that I’ve gone through that is bad is not this huge signal or this huge sign that is letting me know that I am destined to be a failure, but that it is something that is normal and I just need to figure out what success actually looks like.”

I think many times in our lives we set up, “I want to accomplish this. I want to do this and I want to do that.”

So we kind of have this inner result in mind. We know where we want to go, but we don’t get there because we don’t understand what that road looks like. We don’t understand what it is supposed to look like to get to where it is we ultimately want to be.

We don’t know what the experience is going to be like. So when these winds start coming and beating up against our houses and these fires start to come into our lives, all this adversity, people will look at it as an omen or a sign from God that, “You’re not supposed to be doing this.”

Or something that’s saying, “You’re beating up the wrong tree,” or something. In actuality, being that I haven’t graduated from school, I haven’t taken that many tests, but I know that for somebody to get a degree in anything there is a large amount of tests that they have to take before they can graduate.

In life it is pretty much the same thing. Before you can move vertically to that next level in life, where you want to go and ultimately reach those dreams and goals and that level of fulfillment that you may define in material senses as far as cars, houses, money and whatever.

To get to those points there are certain tests that you have to take. I started to look at this. In my life I started to change my perspective. I started to look at different analogies.

For example, the purpose of fire to gold; fire is there to purify gold. I started to look at that and look at the different things that started to happen to me.

I got on this path. I said, “You know what? I’m going to try to start a business.”

I tried to start some businesses but they just didn’t really work out. Like 12 different businesses that I was looking to get into completely failed, but it wasn’t that bad.

In the beginning it was horrible, because I just didn’t understand, “Well, what in the world was going on?”

Then I kind of got it. I got it and I understood that nobody in life sets out to go into business and says, “I want this thing to be a complete failure” but it’s going to happen because that is just how life is.

You are going to have these things, but it just moves you closer to where you ultimately want to go. From that experience you gain certain wisdom, certain knowledge and certain understanding that you are not going to be able gain otherwise.

You aren’t going to get it from books. You aren’t going to be able to get it from a coach. You aren’t going to be able to get it through any other means except that hands on experience which makes you sharper and prepares you for that next level and that next venture that you are going to pursue.

I started to understand that these different things that were beating up against my life were more like the fire that was there to purify the gold, or the pressure on the rocks that bring forth the diamonds, or those strong winds that beat against the trees that makes for the strongest trees and the strongest lumber.

I started to get this better understanding of how to look at the different things in my life that were pretty painful at one point. It wasn’t like it was easy; it just got easier to deal with.

I developed a little bit more enthusiasm because I understood what it was all starting to come together and mean. That is a long answer to your question. It was an extended period of time, it wasn’t just this one moment, but I think it was probably like two and a half, three years of being at an extreme low, trying to figure out what to do, taking stuff to a pawn shop. I was homeless for like three months. It was pretty rough.

Posted by ralph at 01:19 PM | Permalink