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There is only one solution and that is, “Do your part by being the best you can be.”
Rather than looking at the problem as outside of yourself, look at what part of that problem do you own. Then do something about it from your own perspective rather then complaining or whining about it.
Start with yourself! Start at point A. Know where you are. Acknowledge where you are.
If you’re noticing that problem, there is a part of that problem in you. If you’re fighting prejudice, fighting racism, there is a part of that in you.
You don’t know where that is but it’s in you somewhere or it’s in your family. Otherwise you wouldn’t recognize it.
So, first do your best to remedy and solve that problem and then you can start on others. If you come out squeaky clean first and you demonstrate greatness instead of just talking about it or complaining about it you will be a lot more effective.
Ralph Zuranski; So you think the things we dislike the most are difficulties that we are facing within our own selves?
Alex Mandossian: Yes, I think we have it within us and we have to overcome it. That’s why we are facing those things. It’s a projection; you know when someone complains, like “I don’t trust that person.”
That person who is making that claim does not trust themselves in some way because otherwise that would have never come into their consciousness. It is within them.
I firmly believe that to be true. It has been proven psychologically to be true, both at a spiritual and physical level. So, I would firmly, firmly not only believe but acknowledge that if you dislike someone find out what part of that person is in you.
You dislike yourself as a result of that. We’re connected. If you have a problem with something or someone, find out what part of that is in you before you start solving the problem outside of you. If you do that and if everyone did that, wouldn’t the world become a better place?
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I think I demonstrated to you heroism, a certain level of greatness, which instead of just talking about it I demonstrated it to you. You’ve taken pictures of me over the years. You’ve read my materials. You’ve purchased my materials. Ee’ve gotten to know each other over time. You have seen a certain level of consistency and predictability and I think that that got you to trust me as I trust you to regard each other as heroes. Is that true?
Ralph Zuranski; Well, absolutely that is true, but you forgot about generosity.
That does help, but the challenge with generosity is usually conditional. You know, you give, give and give. Now, I’m speaking on my behalf, and then when I don’t get back I say “Darn it! He is not recognizing me.” Okay, so that is where humility comes in.
You give, give, and give. I don’t sense that you expect something in return. This interview took a long time to initiate, probably over a year, and it was canceled at least three or four times because of my schedule. But, you patiently gave, gave, and gave. Now, I am trying to hit one out of the park for you.
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For parents to be a good example, that is the single greatest thing they could do! In other words, don’t give reprimands if you’re guilty of the same thing that you’re reprimanding.
It happens all the time. If a child is misbehaving because they are throwing a temper tantrum and a parent gets upset about that, yet that same parent throws a temper tantrum when their spouse comes home late or if they don’t have date night or whatever else, it is wrong but it happens all the time. We are all hypocrites in our pleasures, sometimes. So the best way for a parent to do their part is to be a good example. As a parent that is what I have found.
A parting thought….
The only parting thought is this, “Greatness and heroism is to be demonstrated. It is not to be talked about. It is admired most when it is demonstrated.
So, if you demonstrate greatness, then you will make a difference and that is what I attempt to do. I try to demonstrate as much greatness as possible.
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By conducting interviews like this and speaking my mind. I don’t typically part the curtain as much as I have or leave myself as vulnerable as I have during this call.
This is just as much for me as it is for any one else listening. I hope I have touched someone. If I am touching you and you’re listening right now, I hope that you nod, “Yes” and if we’ve created any feelings of joy or love, I hope you are nodding “Yes” as well. So, I think those are the ways we make a difference.
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Well, its only as good as the people who are recognizing me. You recognize me as such and that makes me feel good. So it feels very good.
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I think most heroes don’t. I think there is an anonymous mother somewhere who is not getting the recognition that she deserves.
I think there is a politician who is honest and who has always been on the straight and narrow who has not received recognition. I think there is a governor out there or a mayor who hasn’t been recognized.
There is a prime minister who has saved lives in his country or her country who hasn’t gotten recognition. The reason we don’t know who they are is because they have not received recognition. They are leaders from behind. They are heroes from behind. They are anonymous and that’s how we started this interview.
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They are good role models. Young people need good role models. It’s no question to me why adults pick paths of destruction. It starts with their parents, by what they observe.
If not their parents, then it is what they see in school. It is nobody’s fault. It is what they observe. When a child observes something, I firmly believe they accept it as true.
They don’t have the mental apparatus to judge it, “Is this good or bad?” or “Is this true or false?” They just accept it. They buy it.
Let’s say for example, you’re in the basement of your home and your watching your father cut some wood for a cub scout race. You know they have these little derbies where they have these blocks of wood and you make cars out of them and then the fastest car wins.
You put a little weight on the wooden car and it goes down the little chute, I forget what they call them. So, lets say your watching your father with a hacksaw cut off some wood. Then suddenly the hacksaw slips and digs into his thigh and his thigh starts bleeding.
Then, you as a child, male or female, it doesn’t matter, you say “Dad doesn’t that hurt?” And dad says “Yes it does, yes it did hurt.” And you say “Well why aren’t you crying?” and he says “Because men don’t cry.”
Now, he may not have meant anything from that, however, you may buy it for the rest of your life that men don’t cry. If you’re a woman, you find a man to marry who never cries.
If you’re a man, you never cry for the rest of your life because men don’t cry because you looked up to that man who said it. And that man meant nothing by that when he said it, but the bottom line is, you bought in to it.
So, haphazardly we get stimuli from others and from situations. Role models can shatter those things. I mean, why do people go to therapy? They go to therapy to undo or un-ring the bell that was rung in childhood.
Something happened between ages three to seven. I know for a fact, and this has been done over and over again. The greatest producers, the top producers of the world, whether its Stephen Spielberg, Opera Winfrey or Tiger Woods, any top producer, pick one, it doesn’t matter, but they produce results.
In their lives between the ages of three and seven, and this is documented, they had some adult figure, could have been a step-father, father, mother, uncle, aunt, grandfather, grandmother, some parental figure gave them blind encouragement.
So they came up to them and said “Hey I want to be a fireman.” And then that person said,” You know honey, you can do anything you want if you put your mind to it.”
So, they took that piece of evidence. After let’s say the kid grows up to be twelve and says “Mom, when I grow up I want to be a stripper.” So, at that point you can say “Honey, maybe you ought to consider something else. How about waiting tables?”
So, after they get to a certain age it is okay to change the encouragement and lead them down a path that’s a little more supportive. But, between the ages of three to seven, blind encouragement is a good thing.
I believe so. If I ask my son Gabriel (Brianna is not old enough, but she would say the same thing) “Gabriel, you can do anything you want right?” and he says, “Yep” and I ask him, “What do you have to do?” he says “Just put my mind to it.”
So I have like programmed him to know that he can do anything he wants if he just puts his mind to it. Alright? Now if he says he wants to be a bungee cord instructor at age twelve I’m going to say, “Gabriel, I think it’s a great profession but, can we look at something else?”
So, I think between ages four to seven or three to seven are critical. People just take those ages for granted sometimes because were living life. I have been lucky enough to be a teacher and a parent at the same time. It is giving me the ability to look at how my kids are growing up and what kind of impact I can have on them, to be a hero to them.
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I think they are heroes long before they are labeled as such. I think it starts by knowing you’re a hero to yourself.
Mother Theresa was a hero long before she got any acknowledgement. She helped a lot people, assisted them to transform their lives from adversity to at least living and breathing.
That was her mission. So it wasn’t a matter of curing diseases. It was a matter of less disease ridden children and people in that part of the world.
So I think you’ve got to be a hero to yourself first, and then you can be acknowledged as a hero to others.
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Well, there’s an old adage, and I think it comes from the Arabic traditions, “Happy is he who can laugh at himself, he will never cease to be amused.” I think humor is huge. I think you can laugh your way out of sickness. I know, and I have read, I think Norman Cousins laughed himself or humored himself out of cancer.
People have lived longer because of humor. I think it sends these neurological electronic impulses through your body and your nervous system that things are good and there is hope.
I think it causes people to live longer so, I think, based on that, if you buy into that, it plays a huge role.
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Well, you know, prayer is misunderstood, I think, often because it’s deemed as religious. To me a prayer is an affirmation or a declaration.
A prayer is a personal self-talk that is like, “I can make it” or “settle down”, “calm down” or “this is going to work”. So prayer has a huge impact.
Now from a spiritual or religious point of view, I think prayer is a way to redirect energy in a positive light toward giving as in contribution. So I think it has a huge place in people’s lives and if more people do it I think it would be easier to live.
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It’s a source of love. Giving to others is the greatest source of love in the universe. There is no other word for it. It’s not respect, its not admiration, it is love.
I know by serving others I take my mind off myself which feeds my humility which is nice because that’s one of my goals. It takes my focus away from me. I focus on me enough, believe me, I’m all I think about sometimes.
So, I think giving is not only a positive force in life and within universal laws but I think it’s why people teach because in giving there is a sense of joy that comes up. You are willing, or at least I am, to do it for its own sake. I mean, if I could I would teach forever for free, if there was no capitalistic basis for livelihood.
If abundance, a lot of times, was not measured by personal wealth in the form of money then I would teach for free. I often do, but the fact is, I often have boundaries with what I teach.
I’m seeking the truth in marketing and with my followers, students and colleges who are typically business people. I’m a business to business teacher. I do love to teach because it keeps me sharp. It gives me feedback. I get acknowledgement for it too.
I think I’m pretty good at it. I’m wired for acknowledgement just like anybody else. So, in teaching, when someone says “Wow that made a big difference” sometimes I chase that feeling.
DeBeers, the diamond cutting company and brokers, you know the biggest in the world, I think they’re in England still, do millions of dollars worth of research. They said, “Why do men buy diamond rings for women?”
Well, it’s not for the karat size. It’s not for clarity of the diamond. It’s not even for the color or how good the color of the stone is.
They buy diamonds for the look on her face when she opens the black velvet box. That’s why they buy.
I think I teach for the look on their faces when they get it. So, that’s the joy I get, when I see the lights come on, that rivals any feeling I can ever generate for myself or that people can give me.
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It’s a source of love. Giving to others is the greatest source of love in the universe. There is no other word for it. It’s not respect, its not admiration, it is love.
I know by serving others I take my mind off myself which feeds my humility which is nice because that’s one of my goals. It takes my focus away from me. I focus on me enough, believe me, I’m all I think about sometimes.
So, I think giving is not only a positive force in life and within universal laws but I think it’s why people teach because in giving there is a sense of joy that comes up. You are willing, or at least I am, to do it for its own sake. I mean, if I could I would teach forever for free, if there was no capitalistic basis for livelihood.
If abundance, a lot of times, was not measured by personal wealth in the form of money then I would teach for free. I often do, but the fact is, I often have boundaries with what I teach.
I’m seeking the truth in marketing and with my followers, students and colleges who are typically business people. I’m a business to business teacher. I do love to teach because it keeps me sharp. It gives me feedback. I get acknowledgement for it too.
I think I’m pretty good at it. I’m wired for acknowledgement just like anybody else. So, in teaching, when someone says “Wow that made a big difference” sometimes I chase that feeling.
DeBeers, the diamond cutting company and brokers, you know the biggest in the world, I think they’re in England still, do millions of dollars worth of research. They said, “Why do men buy diamond rings for women?”
Well, it’s not for the karat size. It’s not for clarity of the diamond. It’s not even for the color or how good the color of the stone is.
They buy diamonds for the look on her face when she opens the black velvet box. That’s why they buy.
I think I teach for the look on their faces when they get it. So, that’s the joy I get, when I see the lights come on, that rivals any feeling I can ever generate for myself or that people can give me.
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Well, when you forgive someone you’re not doing it for their benefit in my view your doing it for yours. You are just letting that go, the spiritual baggage that you have created, the drama around that discontent or that upset that you have, whatever it may be.
You know when you let that go you release yourself from the ball and chain that is keeping you down in holding a grudge. So forgiveness is not for them, it’s for you.
I believe that it’s extremely important and powerful to forgive. Forgive, what does it mean, to give up. To give up a grudge, give up discontent, give up a pet peeve, just give it up, and when you do you become free. You are released from the shackles of that spiritual binding that’s keeping you down. You can grow again.
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My wife is the biggest influence in my life. She just is! I’m closest to her. I live with her. She has been very significant in raising our kids. I admire her and if you know me or if you don’t know me and get to know me you know that that’s not fluff
I’m not saying this for the “In Search Of Heroes Program’s” benefit or for Ralph Zuranski’s benefit. That is the truth. Nothing is as persuasive as the truth. So, I am fortunate enough to have what I want and want what I have, which to me is the definition of happiness.
She is the one I look up to most because she taught me how to be truly intimate with others. I mean, you can love someone, you can communicate well, but there are other people out there with intimacy issues.
Both in marketing and personal life, she taught me how to really, really want what I have and to really be intimate with myself as well as with others. So, she is the one I look up to.
"Alex Mandossian Answers the In Search Of Heroes Program Questions 'Did you believe your dreams would eventually become reality?'" by Ralph Zuranski
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Model those who have also had shortcomings in their lives and have had fears and doubts. Interview them. Find out how they overcame it.
They have a recipe for success. They have a recipe for overcoming failure. They find for themselves what fails. Discovering as fast as you can is good.
Failing slowly is bad. So, interview people who have failed. Interview people and study people who have had success. You will find lots of failure along the way.
"Alex Mandossian Answers the In Search Of Heroes Program Questions 'Did you believe your dreams would eventually become reality?'" by Ralph Zuranski
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The only way you can delay gratification is to have the power of belief working for you. See, “What is faith?”
Faith or belief is not knowing that you’re going to get from point A to point B. I refuse to believe that that’s the definition of faith or having a belief.
It’s not knowing your going to get from point A to point B. Its just simply knowing that there is a point B, that it exists. That’s what faith, or belief is.
There’s just simply a point B. “When will I get to it? Who knows?”
In the path that is the quickest it is not a straight line. A straight line never works. You know, the shortest distance between two points is not a straight line.
That’s not the way the universe works. It’s the path of least resistance, and that may be going around a mountain. But, the bottom line is that you get to it because it’s the least resistant.
For me, my belief in something means, “Ok, how can I make my first dollar the fastest?”
My good friend, mentor, colleague, business friend and partner, John Reese, says, “How do you make your first dollar?”
For me, it’s not only making your first dollar, its making your first dollar the fastest possible way because that is a feed back system. Its giving you evidence that what you are doing works.
So, don’t work on the biggest idea you have! Work on your first dollar. You’ll be amazed at how much more belief and faith you have in yourself.
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Well, to me discomfort is delayed gratification and those two words are the key to success. Delayed gratification, if you can accept delayed gratification you will be successful.
Think about the concept of compounded interest. It’s just as easy to make one dollar and compound the interest as you have two dollars, as it is to go from one million to two million. It’s just doubling your investment.
However, going from one to two dollars, is not as significant as going from one million to two million. Now, you had to delay some gratification to get two million bucks, in most cases.
To double your net worth, if you have a thousand bucks net worth, then you can make two thousand. Then from two thousand you go to four…four to eight, eight to sixteen. Then you are going to go from a hundred thousand to two- hundred, two-hundred to four, four-hundred to eight-hundred. Finally you can get to one million.
But, how long does it take to double your net worth? It requires delayed gratification.
Now, here’s what’s awesome, because there’s a certain standard of living, if you wait a few years, sometimes a dozen years, sometimes three years, it took me about three years to become a multi millionaire.
I am very fortunate, but some people it may take ten or twenty years. Some people it may take forty years. It doesn’t matter.
Once you reach millionaire status, you could have twice as much money, which is the same jump from one to two dollars, ten to twenty bucks in the same time period, but you will have an extra million bucks.
It requires delayed gratification for that to happen. Now, if you can have that accepted in your life, then you will be successful. No question! That’s one of the traits I have noticed among multi-millionaires and billionaires. They are willing to deal with delayed gratification as they ascend the hill of prosperity.
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Well courage, as Mark Twain or Sam Clemens said, “Is not absence of fear. Courage is mastery of fear, a resistance of fear.”
You must be fearful, otherwise you won’t be self preserving. So, if courage means resistance to fear or mastery or fear, as I believe it is, then bottom line is, it does take courage.
You have fear and you just beat the fear you have. Okay! Now let’s say for example, I made a mistake during this interview. I’m just going to tell on myself, you called me and I forgot to put the call waiting on hold. Okay, so I’m going to do it right now so we don’t have anymore interruptions.
When I call someone, I usually do it. But, I didn’t do it when you called me because I just forgot. So, then we have these little interruptions.
Okay, now by stating that, “I didn’t put the call waiting on hold” we’ve had a few interruptions. You heard the beeps. I am now telling on myself. By telling on myself, that makes me human. Somehow I think it breads more trust.
Now I didn’t do it on purpose. So, I could state it but here’s an opportunity, and I’m taking advantage of it, and it allows me to exhibit humility, because I am a little bit ashamed that this is happening, because, this is exactly what I teach people not to do during a call.
So, hang on a second….Okay, so what I did is I pressed the flash button, I pressed * 70. Now we wont have anymore interruptions. So I saw the problem. I took accountability. I just solved it. So from hope, to expectation to optimism in real time, how’s that?
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Well, optimism to me is that there is hope! If you look at the great spiritual leaders in history, Confucius, Muhammad, Moses, Jesus, or some of the more contemporary leaders, even those who have not had any spiritual basis and have had a negative impact on society through war and toil, they all sell the same thing. They are all promoting one thing.
It’s a four letter word and it’s called HOPE! They sell hope. Optimism is about hope. Hope is sold in various different ways. Hoping there is a better way leads to something else which is expectation.
I believe the lowest level is having hope. That’s the starting point. Then it goes to expectation.
Now, when I ask you to hope to have something, that is a whole different frame of mind than expecting to get it. But, it has to start with hope. It has to start with a seed of hope. Then it leads to expectation. So that is optimism…going from hope, to expectation to having an optimistic point of view.
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I think a positive view is important but a positive view is judgment. I think a realistic view or an accountable view is more like the language I would use.
Accountability is acceptance. In any twelve step program recovering from any disease always starts with acceptance. A power greater than yourself is going to make these things happen in your life. It doesn’t have to be recovering from any “ism,” whether its “workaholism” or “over-eatingism” or “alcoholism” or “drug addiction” or any kind of “ism” that is out there.
What’s important is in looking at how to have an outlook on what’s happening in your life towards the road to success which I am assuming everyone wants. It’s looking at it from an accountable view.
The only beef I have with people who teach self-improvement and personal development is many times their students are almost urged to be unrealistic. They’re shooting for the moon when they should really be shooting for the clouds. Okay! What ends up happening is that they are overcharged on their credit cards because they have these dilutions of grandeur. They keep getting deeper and deeper in “doo doo!” It’s not necessary.
What’s necessary is to know, “hey, this is my budget.” Instead of saying, “I cant afford it!”
You can say, “Its not in my budget!” You can move on and be very realistic.
I believe in spending 100% of what I make! I just spend in my investment account. I spend in my play account. I spend into my expense account and so on and so fourth.
I manipulated in my mind so that it seems good and it feels good and I just reword things so accountability is what I look at and knowing where I’m at. That is the single most important thing.
If you are on a plane and you crash in the middle of the Sahara desert and you’re the only survivor, once you get the food and the water to survive, the single most important thing you need to know is if your going to make it to Cairo.
Can you make it and live on the two weeks worth of water and food that you have as the only survivor? You have to know where you are at. You have to know where you are at because if you’re running east looking for a sunset, you got a big problem.
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I think a positive view is important but a positive view is judgment. I think a realistic view or an accountable view is more like the language I would use.
Accountability is acceptance. In any twelve step program recovering from any disease always starts with acceptance. A power greater than yourself is going to make these things happen in your life. It doesn’t have to be recovering from any “ism,” whether its “workaholism” or “over-eatingism” or “alcoholism” or “drug addiction” or any kind of “ism” that is out there.
What’s important is in looking at how to have an outlook on what’s happening in your life towards the road to success which I am assuming everyone wants. It’s looking at it from an accountable view.
The only beef I have with people who teach self-improvement and personal development is many times their students are almost urged to be unrealistic. They’re shooting for the moon when they should really be shooting for the clouds. Okay! What ends up happening is that they are overcharged on their credit cards because they have these dilutions of grandeur. They keep getting deeper and deeper in “doo doo!” It’s not necessary.
What’s necessary is to know, “hey, this is my budget.” Instead of saying, “I cant afford it!”
You can say, “Its not in my budget!” You can move on and be very realistic.
I believe in spending 100% of what I make! I just spend in my investment account. I spend in my play account. I spend into my expense account and so on and so fourth.
I manipulated in my mind so that it seems good and it feels good and I just reword things so accountability is what I look at and knowing where I’m at. That is the single most important thing.
If you are on a plane and you crash in the middle of the Sahara desert and you’re the only survivor, once you get the food and the water to survive, the single most important thing you need to know is if your going to make it to Cairo.
Can you make it and live on the two weeks worth of water and food that you have as the only survivor? You have to know where you are at. You have to know where you are at because if you’re running east looking for a sunset, you got a big problem.
"Alex Mandossian Answers the In Search Of Heroes Program Questions 'What is your perspective on goodness, ethics and moral behavior?'" by Ralph Zuranski
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Well, the dream or vision for me is to maintain humility despite my success. It is really easy to get cocky in this business and I often do. My wife Amy reminds me I’m a monkey just like everybody else. Maintaining that level of humility, I mean true humility not false humility, is difficult.
I mean true, true humility…boundary based humility. That is the biggest challenge that I face every single day as success comes to me more and more.
Success is momentum based! I mean, it’s very funny, but it accelerates. Success accelerates.
So, as it is accelerating for me right now, I feel as though I deserve it. I am grateful for the people who assisted me to get here.
I have had people who feel they’re absolutely responsible to be the only ones who got me here. I don’t necessarily disagree with them, but I like to give credit where credit is due.
There were many people involved. I’ve done my part too. My brand has been to deliver content. It’s difficult for anyone to say after listening to me speak that I don’t deliver content.
I’ve had a commitment to content. I know what content feels like. I know what it sounds like. I’ve always wanted to hear it from others who taught me so I do my absolute best. I think I do meet that criteria.
I have set for myself to deliver and over deliver on content. So, as long as I continue to do that, and maintain humility, and not get cocky and arrogant about it, then I think my family will do well and I think I will do well.
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Well, Ralph, I’m very lucky. I’ve only had one really low point and it happened early in my life. I was 25 and I had lost everything, which in this case was a little over a quarter million dollars. The way I overcame that was simple.
I read biographies of other self-made millionaires and billionaires and the one pattern that keeps reoccurring over and over again was, “They had it. They lost it. They got it back again.”
Usually, it happens two and three times. I have been very fortunate. It only has happened once. So, my low point, other than death in the family of people I absolutely loved, which is a natural thing to occur, I had one low point financially.
It happened in 1989 and I overcame it. It took about 3 years to overcome it emotionally and 6 years to overcome financially. I believe I’m a better business person as a result of it. If I see it happening to someone else, I’m usually one of the first to stick my hand out because I remember the pain and the humiliation of the whole process.
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Another thing I will choose, and I will die for, is the sense of loyalty from friends and colleagues.
I believe a deal is easier to find. A good relationship is not. Finding someone with common sense and loyalty is in the top one percentile.
So, looking and hunting for this, and I have, I feel like I have a great team of people. They have made the cut and I have to stick to my agreements. Otherwise, I am hypocritical under pressure, if I’m not maintaining what I’m looking for.
I will give up a deal if it means sacrificing a relationship. I will not do a deal if it’s going to hurt a relationship.
I’ve gone as far as telling someone I am going into competition with them. Unknown to me, I didn’t know that they were in the deal.
I told them “Hey, im going to do this deal. Do you have a problem with it?” They said, “Yes. I do have a problem with it.” I stopped and they went on to make a lot of money and I didn’t.
There have been situations where they went into competition with me after they knew that I was doing what I was doing. They didn’t ask me. They ended up making a lot of money as a result of the sweat off my back. But, you know what? Its not a conditional thing when I’m calling them up and I say “I’m going in to competition with you.” Or, “We are doing the same thing, do you mind?” They’re giving me “Yes, I do mind.”
"Alex Mandossian Answers the In Search Of Heroes Program Questions 'What is your perspective on goodness, ethics and moral behavior?'" by Ralph Zuranski
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For me, the people I trust and love the most are the members of my family…Gabriel and Brianna, my two kids, and my wife Amy. It wasn’t always that way. You know, I’ve fallen from grace and have not given them the attention they have deserved.
In fact, I probably would have lost my marriage if I would have stayed in New York and stayed the workaholic that I was. In looking at my relationships, my family is most important because they’ve allowed me a certain lifestyle. My wife, Amy, has coached me to live a certain life. Lifestyle is important.
I’d like to take one 1 week vacation every quarter. That is not easy to do. I take off 1 week, so every 12 weeks that’s 1 week off.
That is not easy but I have been pulling it off and do I work hard? Yes, some days I work 6 hours a day, today I am working 4 hours.
Last week I was preparing for a seminar and I was working 20 hour days to prepare for it. I was given the curriculum last minute so I was working round the clock to get prepared. You know with my seminars there are handouts and things so I wanted to make sure everything was set so sometimes you’ve got to power through the obstacles.
So, for me, since family’s most important, I try to revolve everything around them. At 7 AM, my son Gabriel comes through the door. At 7:10 AM, my daughter Brianna comes through the door and whether I am on the phone or not they take precedent.
It happened this morning. Someone called me at 7 AM. Between 7 AM and 8 AM those are not prime time hours for me. So, when my kids came through the door, I excused myself from the phone.
I came back to my office chair and they sat on my knee. They were making noises in the background as I was talking. Now, the person on the other end had a problem with that and I am willing to sacrifice that relationship.
"Alex Mandossian Answers the In Search Of Heroes Program Questions 'What is your perspective on goodness, ethics and moral behavior?'" by Ralph Zuranski
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Goodness, ethics and moral behavior to me is predictability. If I can predict you, you maintain your agreements, you live with integrity, which to me means keeping your agreements, then, I trust you. There are no small agreements. There are no small commitments. If you maintain those, then that to me is what it’s all about. That is what makes a relationship worthwhile. I can predict and therefore I can trust.
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Like Napoleon Hill, I had many heroes. Usually the heroes faced their own adversity. For example, the Rothschilds! Here’s a family that grew up in the Jewish ghetto and all the sudden they became millionaires then became billionaires because they never gave up.
There’s that speech that Winston Churchill once uttered which was “Never ever give up!” It was at a commencement ceremony. I believe at Harvard or Yale. I forget which University, but that’s all he said. That was the key to life for him. That was his key to success. Winston Churchill was a great, and still is a great example for me.
Abraham Lincoln! There is another leader from behind…what he did for this country, abolishing slavery and having the leadership quality of humility, you know, a great, great leader
Stephen Covey, is a great example. Here’s a person who was nothing more than an obscure professor at Brigham Young University. Look what he did because his teachings were so principle-centered that people embraced them. He became a multi-millionaire just teaching, as an academic…not even as a marketer but as academic.
He really had two different reasons for that. I believe Stephen M.R. Covey, his eldest son, had a lot of influence with that. My good friend Greg Link, who was Stephen Covey Senior’s handler, had a lot to do with it.
These are leaders who are alive and heroes for me because they are here and they are people I can count on.
Mark Victor Hanson is a hero. You know some people look at him and in doing business with him they say “Wow, he has so many ideas! Does he have marketing ADD?”
I don’t know if he does or doesn’t. But, I know he is one of the most brilliant minds I personally know and have met because there’s so many ideas that fled through his mind.
He’s a starter. What he needs is a finisher. And that’s what Jack Canfield is and always has been. Jack Canfield is another hero of mine because they get stuff done.
There are these teams of leaders.
For example, I am a finisher and Armand Morin is a starter. Armand is a hero even though he is a colleague.
So, there doesn’t have to be a “no longer with us” definition for heroes. These guys are alive and well. They are still heroes in your eyes because of the roll they play in your life.
Sometimes a hero has hero qualities that you don’t know about. Once you observe it quietly, then you say “Wow, I really like this guy.” I had the chance and the good fortune to speak on the platform with T. Harv Eker. He gets so many people in the audience. I mean, 2,500 or 3,000 people. This particular event had about 600 people and it was a small event for him. It was my first event with Harv so I didn’t really know his philosophies and what he really, really, really thought, you know, behind the curtain.
I was just astonished at the love he has, for his audience. He would call me up and he would say “Are they getting it? Are they getting it?“ What are they missing? What is the disconnect? What can we do to improve this?”
And he’s telling me this as I’m speaking and I’m thinking, “Man! I wish I could be broadcasting this.” and I am right now so Harv, if you’re listening I hope you’re smiling because I love the man that you are. You really care about your students and your colleges and I really appreciate and admirer that.
So, these are some of the people in my life. There are many, many more who I haven’t mentioned like Les Brown, Brian Tracey and Joe Polish. Joe Polish is one of my heroes. He’s younger than I am. He shares my wife’s birthday, to the day. Both parents, both mothers were giving birth the same day in history.
You know I don’t know what that’s about but what I do know is that it is most important to me. Joe is a loyal friend and he is a hero. And loyalty has a lot to do with being a hero to me.
Predictability and trust are important. Trust to me is about predictability, and this is not a segue. This I believe has a lot of relevance If there’s a dog that I know will bite my hand, I trust that dog, because I know that dog will bite.
So I don’t put my hand in the vicinity of the dogs mouth. If I can trust that the dog will not bite me and will lick my hand, then I pet the dog. The dog will get my petting maybe underneath her mouth or tapping on his or her head because I trust the dog. The dog is predictable.
But, if I cannot predict the dog; if the dog bites or if the dog licks, and I don’t even know if that’s going to happen or not, then I don’t trust the dog. I have a distrust for that dog. There’s no judgment. I just distrust the dog because the dog is no longer predicable.
So I believe predictability creates distrust and that’s what a great leader is. A great leader is someone you can trust because they are predictable.
If someone is chronically late then I trust that they are going to be chronically late and I show up 15 to 20 minutes late.
You see? So you adapt. I kind of get upset and it gets on my nerves when I hear people talk about judging trust. Like, “I don’t trust them.” And I say “Why?”
Because he is a good person or he is not a good person. Trust is about predictability. It has nothing to do with good or bad, in my view.
So, I hope that nugget means a lot to others because it means leading a cleaner life and you’ll get along with more people who are chronically late and are predictable only they are predictable in different ways.
Ralph, you are one of my heroes for putting this program together.
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