In Search Of Heroes Spreads Good News About Everyday, Real-Life Heroes Who Deserve Recognition For Their Good Works

23. Do you readily forgive those who upset, offend and oppose you?
Mike Filsaime: I am so forgiving to a fault. I think that’s the Scorpio nature in me. I was born October 26. I almost go into everything that I do with the expectation that I’m going to do everything I can right. I hope this person does too but if they don’t then so be it.

I try not to hold a grudge. I’ll kick and scream sometimes and say “Oh man I can’t believe this guy did this to me.” But you have to get over it. If you are going to dwell on the negative things and in the past think instead of what you could be doing if you are working on a project and moving something forward.

I’ve been burned so many times. I could basically tell you on a weekly basis how I get burned. But look where I am in my life because I let it go.

I say “Ok you know if that happened and this & that got shut down or this person did this & that then I hope in my heart this person changes their ways so they can be a better person. Because if they don’t they’ll only have bad things happen to them.”

I don’t wish that upon them. There was a person recently that we didn’t get along with each other in Butterfly Marketing. Remember I said you may have fire your bad friends, well this guy wasn’t behaving. I had to fire him as a customer and refund him.

So he now is going around in forums and tongue & cheek beating me up a little bit. I’m not going to play down to that game. I sent him a very polite email and apologized that we got off on the wrong foot.

I said “We can do better things in this world if we both put positive energy out there. I give you my word I’ll never say anything bad about you regardless of what you continue to do to me.

However, maybe one day we’ll meet and let’s not have any uncomfortable feelings when that happens. I always believed that if you don’t have anything nice to say about people then don’t say anything. And right there, do I have faults with that? I’m sure I do.

I’m sure there are times I may have a cup of coffee or a drink with somebody and a topic will come up and I’ll probably talk in ways that I shouldn’t about somebody. But publicly you should never do anything like that. Without a doubt you have to be able to forgive people and forgive yourself.

You have to know when you’ve made faults. You have to say I’m sorry and apologize to people and reach out to them before they reach out to you if you believe that they may be upset. You have to let it go and don’t associate with those types of people but you can definitely forgive them.
_________________________
Paulie Sabol: I do think it is important. I think it is exceptionally important. First, we wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about what others think about us, Ralph, if we knew just how little they did. One of the areas where I’ve had great success and wealth is in real estate.
In real estate we have tenants. That’s where I found what a lack of forgiveness to be like. It is like somebody being a tenant inside your head. So I do make it an effort and a habit of mine to not long hold upon grudges. But I do want to be completely candid and frank and transparent with all of your listeners.
I still get hurt very easily. I do get offended at times when people don’t intend it or mean it. That is the other good reason to forgive them. Very often, it wasn’t even what they were going after. Some of your smartest listeners, who catch more nuance and subtlety, some of your marginalized listeners who are aware of hatred and bias and different aspects of judgment and prejudice, they are going to have moments when they get hurt and offended.
People oppose them. I don’t think that is a failure by any means, but it is an opportunity to get quickly back towards your future through forgiveness.
___________________
Donna Fox: I think forgiveness is really kind of crucial to my business sanity. I have had those moments where just recently somebody is infringing on one of my trademarks. That is huge! I am angry with that person.

But I’ve come to forgive them and it’s relatively recent. It’s still going on and he is still infringing on my trademark even now as we speak. But forgiveness is important for me, not for him. He doesn’t care if I forgive him. He really doesn’t.

It’s kind of the process of letting go of the anger, letting go of the hurt. When I got started I used to get mad at people who opted out of my list! Now I rejoice in it.

Now I look at it as good. I don’t want somebody who doesn’t want me. So it’s just a process that we go through where we get these little small hurts and then we realize that they are just that, small hurts, and we don’t have to be hurt by them.

So we kind of forgive them globally. I have forgiven everyone who ever will in the future opt out of my list. It’s just not a hurt any longer.

I think it helps us grow to be able to forgive but if I was still now, years after starting being an internet marketer, getting upset every time somebody opted out of my list, I wouldn’t move forward.

Forgiveness really helps us learn from an experience and take the next steps forward.

Ralph Zuranski: That is kind of an interesting perception. I don’t think I ever got mad at the people who opted out of my list, I was just thankful that somebody opted in.
_____________________
TOM BEAL: The person that’s hurt the most by not forgiving is you and me. If I’m willing to hold that energy and not forgive somebody and hold that inside its only self-limiting. They are living their lives and they have no clue.

It’s one of the most important things I had to overcome. I thought “How could my family do the things they did?” But in reflection I can look back and say they did the best they could with the time and place they were. No one was out to get me.

People make decisions and they did the best they could or the best they were able to at that particular time. They probably made wrong choices just as I have made wrong choices.

When Mike created the The "Butterfly Marketing Program" that is worth it's weight in gold, his joint venture partners were ready, willing and able to recommend the program to their loyal mailing listmembers. In five short days, there was over $1,000,000 in gross sales. It was time for Mike to reap the rewards promised by Earl Nightingale because of the quality and value of Mike's "Butterfly Marketing Program."