"Part Seven Dave Berstein's Conclusion Of His In Search Of Heroes Interview" by Ralph Zuranski
RALPH ZURANSKI: How do people become heroes?
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: Just simply by giving, by caring, by showing an interest. Once again by finding solutions to problems. By just being a part of people's lives.
RALPH ZURANSKI: Yeah.
Well, how does it feel to be recognized as an internet hero?
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: I don't even feel worthy yet. I feel so modest about it. I mean, if I were to be considered to be a hero, that would feel awesome. But again, I like to feel discomfort, so it would make me want to be more heroic, it would make me want to do that much more. It would make me- if I were exposed to 50 people, I would want to be exposed to a 100 people, then 200 people. Then get in front of a 1000 people and see how much I can give back. So, it makes me feel very good, but there's so much more that I want to accomplish.
RALPH ZURANSKI: Why do you think you were selected as a unique internet hero?
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: I would hope that's because I care, because I spend time with people. You know, I give my time unselfishly because I try to do so. And you know, if I were to pass away tomorrow, I would definitely like that to be on my grade, that I was always there for other people, and trying to let other people know what I know, and try to show people how to do the things I know how to do...
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: In our industry, a lot of people get on stage and they try to sell you a solution to something, to a problem that you have. But it takes a real hero to show people how to do things and not accept any monetary gain from it, and not accept any recognition. I like to tell people that I'm very happy in being the Ed McMahon in the night show of life. I let other people be the Johnny Carson. I'll be the Ed McMahon. I'm happier with that.
RALPH ZURANSKI: Will being recognized as an internet hero change your life in any way?
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: Oh! Absolutely!
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: It's something that, again, would drive me every single day. It's something that would make me want to just be that much more of a giver. I can't stand- I don't know about you, Ralph, but when I go to seminars, I can't stand just going to the conference room every single minute. I like going out in the hall and making contacts. But not contacts necessarily for monetary gain, but contacts to see what these people need. You know, see where I might be able to help them. And I think that's truly what people should do.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: I think people should take more time to realize the gifts that they already have, and find some way to give those gifts back and find some way to show other people what they have to share, rather than just to see how much you can learn, because when you just learn learn learn without doing anything about it, that's kind of selfish. And I think that's a very selfish way of learning. I think that you need to learn and instantly show other people what you've learned. Does that make sense?
RALPH ZURANSKI: Sure. And so that's how you're making the world a better place?
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: Absolutely! Absolutely. I do that all the time. I've probably done about 6 interviews in the seminar I was at this past weekend, and every one of them wasn't about me. It was about telling people what I know and just giving people the tools of the trade- I don't need to make any monetary gain on it... I just want to show the laptop that I use, the microphone that I use. You know, in our industry, these are important tools that we use. And you know, I think it's our obligation to show people how to do this stuff.
RALPH ZURANSKI: Would you have any good solutions to the problems facing society, especially racism, child and spousal abuse, and violence among young people?
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: I think basically to divert your attention to find, when it comes to the children, when it comes to the people that are being abused, when it comes to the adults that are going through racial abuse, spousal abuse, just basically just wake up every day thinking of good things, thinking about- don't put yourself in a hole. Don't think that life, you know, is terrible, and you just want to just end it.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: I can't stand people with negative thoughts, I can't stand people with suicidal thoughts, there's so many good things that you can do. Think of the gifts that you already have. Think about the things you're good at. Orrin was great at chess and he also experienced racism and abuse and violence. And he took a gift that he had, and he showed other people who weren't as fortunate how to better their lives.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: So, for me, it would be to show people how to express themselves through multi-media. You're familiar with podcasting, podcasting is when you get an opportunity to express your thoughts, upload them to the web, and other people can listen to your thoughts. And for me, showing other people how to express their thoughts through audio and video, that would be a good solution for me.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: For you, Ralph, showing people how to express their thoughts through photography. You have taken so many photographs, and some of them have been just incredible inspirations. And I think the ones that are the best are the candid shots that you take.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: Sometimes when people don't know the camera is on, and you show somebody helping somebody else or you show somebody giving somebody a hand- those are good solutions. Maybe showing people how to put together maybe a photo album of ways that they can impact other’s lives.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: Those are two good solutions right there. Don't be afraid to speak your mind; don't be afraid to take photographs. Don't be afraid to use the gifts that you already have to find some way to help yourself and to help others.
RALPH ZURANSKI: Well, if you had wishes for your life in the world, that would instantly come true, what would they be?
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: Probably should have thought about this one, but I'll see what I can come up with here. Obviously, if they could instantly come true, it would be to have a father-daughter dance with each of my daughters. I know it's going to take a little bit of time, considering that they are 8 and 4 right now, but that would be one of the most joyous moments of my life. That's a very personal thing to me.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: I would love to be nationally known instantly. Not for myself personally, but so that I could give back to others and put together free seminars, just to show/use my talents in the most world-wide way I possibly could. I think that fame is something that a lot of people misuse.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: I think there are a lot of people out there that take their fame and use it, they are very self-serving, which house is the biggest, which car is the fastest. You know. It drives me nuts. I still drive a mini-van. You've seen it. I mean, I don't need a great car- I just need transportation.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: I don't need a huge house; I just need a comfortable roof over my head. But I would like to be famous to show other people that it's not all about having the biggest this and the biggest that, but to show people that they can be a success and they need to instantly give that back to others. To watch my kids succeed would be a great wish. To watch myself succeed, obviously, but not from a selfish standpoint.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: And you know, if you know, if you're talking about the world, I'd like this garbage that's going on overseas to just end. You know, it just drives me nuts, no matter what you think about the country, the president, whether we should be in war, whether we shouldn't be in war, it's everybody's opinion, my opinion is only important to me, but I just think it's an absolute joke, Ralph, that we're fighting over selfish things.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: I mean, everybody is jealous of each other, and I wish people would just realize what they have, the folks overseas what they have, you know, if they want to make it a better place, don't take what we have. Improve what they have. If we want to make it a better place, we don't need to take what they have, improve what we have.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: A good example would be that rather than to take all of their oil resources, invent a resource that could run automobiles that wouldn't take oil. I mean, we've got the technology. We can be so smart without taking other people's assets. It just drives me nuts that we're even in a war, and that it's lasted this long. That would probably be my third wish.
RALPH ZURANSKI: What do you think about the answer to Heroes Program and its impact on youth, parents, and business people?
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: I think it's amazing. I think it's absolutely amazing. I think that anything that motivates people to be the best person they are, to do the best job they can is just incredible. And you're doing with the In Search of Heroes Program exactly what I'm doing with my www.DaddyDays.net site.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: I mean, I'm trying to show single fathers how to not be negative, but to make a negative lemon into lemonade. In Search of Heroes Program, you are making heroes out of regular people as well. Single fathers, single mothers, right down to the people who need it the most.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: People who've been abused and ridiculed. and been told that they're never going to succeed and it's just so nice that there are people out there like yourself that are telling people, "you know what, you can make a difference. You can make a difference in your house, you can make a difference in your city, you can make a difference in your country!"
RALPH ZURANSKI: Well stated.
What do you think of things parents can do that will help their children realize that they too can be heroes and make a positive impact in the lives of others?
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: Just constantly tell them you love them. Just constantly be a part of their lives. Tell them that there isn't anything they can't accomplish if they put their mind to it and don't let any of their problems become their children's problems, whether it be divorce, or an illness, or just having a bad day at your 9-5 job.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: Don't take it out on your kids. Just come home and just be a positive influence. And just be interested in what's going on with their lives. Like I said, if you don't let people care, they won't. But you have to be a man; you have to be a woman. You have to want to care, because if you don't care, your kids aren't going to care back.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: You remember the song "The Cats in the Cradle"?
RALPH ZURANSKI: Yeah. I sure do!
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: It's a great song, isn't it?
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: It's about a father who never had the time for his child, and then when the child grew up and the father had all the time in the world, now the child didn't have the time anymore. Don't let it get to that point!
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: You know Ralph, you've probably seen my laptop the screensaver on my laptop is of myself and of my two girls.
RALPH ZURANSKI: And they're beautiful little girls!
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: Oh thank you! I appreciate that. The photo on my laptop was actually taken when you and I were attending Joe Polish's seminar as a matter of fact, and I made sure that I was over there to watch them accept ice-skating awards. I drove all the way from Scottsdale 40 miles to get there, stay there for 30 minutes, and then I drove back.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: But why did I do that? I did that because that was an important moment in my kids' lives. I did that because I take incredible joy being a parent and I think that parents need to do things like that. Do the things that the kids expect. But sometimes do things the kids don't expect. Take the kids out for ice-cream for no reason. Just take them out for an ice-cream.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: Read a book for no reason. Go out and play ball in the yard for no reason whatsoever. You know, you don't need a special occasion or an awards ceremony, a birthday, Christmas to be a hero to your children, just simply tell them you care.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: Tell them you love them, and most important, make sure you show them, because it's very easy to just take them for granted and then one day you don't want to be Cats in the Cradle. You want to make sure that someday they're there for you as well too. That you have a great relationship.
RALPH ZURANSKI: Boy, you know, that's so true, that's so profound. Well, Dave, I know how busy you are, and how many different people you work with on doing the audios, and I really appreciate your taking the time to do this interview, and I just want again to tell you how much I appreciate what you do, and just your servant attitude at all the seminars. That's one of the major reasons why I chose you for the interview.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: I very much appreciate that and you've got to make me a promise here. You've got to promise me you'll keep the In Search of Heroes Program going because it's making an incredible impact right now, and I have no doubt in my mind that it's going to become bigger than all of us combined.
RALPH ZURANSKI: Oh with the help of the people like you and all my other internet heroes, it's going to make a huge difference in the world by spreading good news at a grassroots level and raising up the people that are heroes, basically anybody that helps anybody else, is a hero to me.
DJ DAVE BERNSTEIN: I have no doubt about it!
RALPH ZURANSKI: Again, Dave, thank you so much.
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