Ralph Zuranski: Yep, you know I really believe that, that’s true. If you had three wishes in your life that would instantly come true what would they be?
Craig Garber: Well they would probably be, number 1 and 2 like you asked me before, is for people to take responsibility for themselves, love their fellow man and start accepting people.
I think that immediately people would chill out a lot. I guess end suffering from poor health -- watching someone suffering -- that’s got to be brutal, and emotionally agonizing. Suffering because of poor health is terrible, it’s brutal. I’ve gone through some of it myself. That would be my third wish I guess.
Ralph Zuranski: What do you think about the search for heroes program and what it’s done for kids, parents and business people?
Craig Garber: Ralph: I think it’s a great program, any time you raise awareness about children’s needs for heroes is fantastic. Getting people talking about those things is great.
Like my son yesterday, he came home from the bus, and he said kids were arguing about the war, or the presidency, and I said look, even if you guys disagree, at least you guys are talking about it, being aware about it.
Either way if you and these kids vote at least you’re getting involved in a positive decision in your life. So, raising awareness is important. Look, you’re trying to save peoples lives, especially young people, as I said before you’re the hero here, not me. You’re the one setting all this up, and making a positive approach to things. I think it’s fantastic.
Ralph Zuranski: We’ve got tell kids that they can change the paradigm that was something great once. Either they were surged on by adrenaline, or make that one act, that it’s more of a daily action, of choosing the way that you’re going to act.
As Gregory Allen Williams said ‘there’s a little bit of good in the worst of us, and there’s a little bit of bad in the best of us.’ The hardest thing about that is finding the equilibrium, I think we all suffer from that.
Craig Garber: Absolutely, absolutely.
Ralph Zuranski: What are the things that parents can do to help their children realize is that they to can make a positive impact on the lives of others?
Craig Garber: That’s a really good question, it’s something I’ve given a tremendous amount of thought to, because having three kids, and knowing all the wrong ways to raise kids I had to because I didn’t want to make those same mistakes with my kids, my own children.
I would say that, my oldest son is fifteen so I would have a bit of experience about this, so if had to sit and reflect, and say the most important thing is let your kids be kids. You only get one childhood, there’s no do-over. Okay, let them be kids. You ask a six year old, why are you doing this, I’m six.
I’ve got a five year old and a fifteen year old, and one in the middle, so believe me, I’m much more realistic of that with my five year old than I was with my fifteen year old, because you’re older and you’ve made these mistakes, so you realize these things. Don’t judge them, don’t judge your kids let them be who they are.
Some kids will not be good students, that’s okay you’ve still got to love them, that’s just the way they are. They’re not into school, are they good people that’s what’s important.
Don’t set expectations for them either, like I said before, your kids are separate individuals from you. I coached all my kids, and my daughter’s five so she’ll be starting to play sports soon.
I coached them in soccer, my wife and I actually coached, and then I coached one or two years after that. And then with my middle son in basketball for years. I see these parents and they live or die with these kids, about foul shooting. It’s almost like the kid is definitely more well received when he’s doing well, than when he’s not.
The parents hang onto their kids. I was the oddball, I could care less of what my kids do. I just wanted them to have fun. They were playing sports, not for me, I could care less of how they did. My kids are in karate, and now I know they’re red belts, but there was a time there when I was sitting in karate one time and someone asked me what belt my kids were, and I didn’t know.
It’s not that I didn’t care about my kids, it’s just that I didn’t care what ranking they were. I think one was orange, I didn’t even know. That’s not why I was there, I was there for them to have fun, and maybe something good would come out of it for their lives.
Ralph Zuranski: So you think that parents are just pushing their kids to hard, and they’re just forcing them to achieve the level of success that they never achieved in their lives?
Craig Garber: Yeah, I think they’re pushing them too hard for the wrong things. These same people that push their kids hard to score another soccer goal, or make sure they make 90% of their lay-ups. Then when the kid’s rude he doesn’t say hey, you know, why don’t you say thank you or please.
In the long run, they’re going to have a lot more easier time getting along in this world learning how to say thank you and please than learning how to make foul shots or getting lay ups in. So, I think they’re looking for things to put on the wall, and I think the mistake that most parents make are looking for tangible signs of evidence of success in your children’s life, I don’t think tangible signs of evidence measures their success.
Now, if you have seen people say ,oh that guy’s lazy, or his kids aren’t performing well, I have wall-fulls of stuff, I don’t care about that stuff though, what means a lot more to me is that when a parent comes to me down the block and says, your son Casey is so polite, all the other kids come to the house, he is such a nice kid, so nice to deal with.
That to me says that Anne and I did a pretty good job of what we’re doing with our kids. It happens with all three of our kids, and I see how they interact with others, they’re polite, they say hello, they care about other people, they don’t step on other people. They care about other kids.
Ralph Zuranski: That’s one of the reasons why I created the In search of Heroes program, is because to honor the moms and dads, and the kids that act that way. I’ve talked a lot with professional sports stars here in San Diego and some of the stars up in L.A., I’ve found that their just absolutely the worst role models possible. You see the kids taking on the same activities that the sports stars that are on steroids or have attitudes that are anything but inspirational for kids.
Craig Garber: Right, because your kids, you know, you don’t realize the role you play in their lives, they will imitate everything you do. You don’t realize this because it’s going on behind the scenes. The other thing that’s really important is that you’ve got to give your kids confidence, and the way to do that is letting them be independent, not doing everything for them.
My son’s working, one of my weekly tips was about the job that I helped him get, he’s almost fifteen, he’s been working almost a year. He’s doing real well. I think it’s important, he’s earning quite a bit, he’s going to get his permit soon, we’re going to have to deal with that, it’s the thing to do, I don’t feel safe putting him on the road, but I do feel safe teaching him how to drive. It’s better to sit out there with me for a year, so I know what he’s got, rather than, “Here’s your license.” -- we’re both screwed then.
I’ve always tried to be there for them, so we can talk about it, but, now they’ve got the courage, the more things you do the more things you think you can do. You just build on that, you build on it, and build on it.
All my kids are extremely independent and I’ve let them fail, as long as we’re here for them that’s all that matters. It’s important to know what’s going on in the world, letting your kids know. Good times, and bad times. My kids have come to me and said they heard me saying that we can’t go out to eat tonight or something like that. They always say if you need any money we’ll give it to you.
Ralph Zuranski: Thank you for contributing your time, I know you’re very busy, and have a tremendous amount of clients that really respect you and appreciate what you do, once again thank you very much.
Craig Garber: Ralph:, I appreciate your time and I appreciate being part of the program, I’m just looking to contribute and help out and I think what your doing is a great thing, thanks very much for including me. Thanks for asking me all these questions. If I could help you out with anything, don’t hesitate to let me know.
Ralph Zuranski: Thanks, I’m really looking forward to looking at your sales letter to promote the In search of Heroes book, which contains the best of the best of what I’ve found in marketing, copywriting, and technology, and just ask for promotion for the foundation thing that will help every community to be successful. I’m just thankful to you and for all the help you offered.
Craig Garber: No problem, take care Ralph.